Mobian Holiday Mayhem
by Werehog20
Summary: A collab with SonicFanaticInc., this is a series of holiday oneshots where feuds, incest, violence, and humor at the expense of others break out as several characters find out that they're related to each other and must try to be a happy family!
1. Thanksgiving on the Black Comet

_**Thanksgiving on the Black Comet**_

**SonicFanaticInc. & Werehog20**

It was a nice autumn morning as the trees were golden brown and the flickies were migrating South for the Winter. Shadow was lying in bed with his head under his pillow, snoring loudly when suddenly there was a loud knock at the door, causing Shadow to instantly wake up and fall out of bed, "Ah! What the hell?" With an angry growl he stomped toward the front door, slamming it open with his pistol raised and ready to fire, "Who the hell are you and what the hell do you want?!"

A tall black and red alien with three eyes and two horns stood in the doorway. He was wearing a maroon robe with several shining ornaments hanging from his neck "Shame on you Shadow.", rasped the alien, "What a disrespectful greeting for your father!"

Shadow jumped back, "Black Doom?! What are you doing here?!"

"Don't you know what day it is Shadow?"

"The day someone lets me sleep in for once?"

"No you fool! Ahem! Its Thanksgiving. I'm here to bring you to the Black Comet. Did you not read the invitation I sent you a week ago?"

Shadow thought for a moment, "Oh wait, hang on." He then sifted through a pile of old mail sitting in a pile next to the doorway. "Hm... Bill, bill, final notice, a 2 for 1 deal at Gun R Us, Top Secret GUN File... Oh, Is it this? 'You're invited to a Black Arm Family Reunion aboard the Black Comet on the Eve of Thanksgiving.' What's the meaning of this?"

Black Doom crossed his arms, "The invitation is self-explanatory. I invited our entire family to Thanksgiving."

"I don't have a family."

"Of course you do! There's not only me but everyone else as well. Now come! We must return to the Comet!" Black Doom grabbed Shadow's arm and disappeared in a flash of light.

* * *

They reappeared in a large dark colored room within the Black Comet with purple and red light pulsating form the walls. In the sides of the massive room were large windows that gave a view of open space and Mobius. In the middle was a huge, long table that had several plates of recently cooked foods with more being placed by several Black Arms grunts that were running about. "As you can see Shadow, everything is almost finished. Just some finishing touches here and there. All should be ready by the time our other guests arrive."

Shadow watched the activity and suddenly he was struck by a thought, "Wait, earlier when I said I didn't have a family, you said, 'Of course you do.' What did you mean by that?"

Black Doom looked bewildered, "I'm surprised at you Shadow! For starters, I'm your father. Not to mention I made sure to invite your sons and daughter."

"What!? I have children?" shouted Shadow shockingly.

"Oh that's right, you wouldn't remember that due to your chronic amnesia..." said Black Doom as he face palmed. "It was about 21 years ago if I remember correctly... I came earlier than I was supposed to wake you up and take you to your first LEFUKEMESANU."

"Lefukme wha?"

"Hm... You could say it's like the Universal version of Mardi Gras, but it's far more amusing than your petty Mobian one..."

"How so?"

"Well, basically everyone parties and gets drunk, can do whatever the hell they want with whoever the hell they want, and the rest is never mentioned forever."

"Sounds... fun?"

"Well you certainly got a kick out of it... A male Black Arms' first LEFUKEMESANU is a right of passage."

"How did I do?"

"Oh you DID well to say least... I remember you got a fine looking violet hedgehog female after shooting up the Black Comet, which explains half of the craters on it to this day."

"Shit..."

"Shit indeed. Thats why there will be _absolutely_ no liquor at this reunion," proclaimed Black Doom as he took a bottle of Chaos Royal from behind Shadow's back and chucked it out the window, hitting Space Colony ARK.

"Damn..."

"Anyways, that wasn't the best part. After creating chaos in the Black Comet, you took your vixen to a room and mated all night long, beating my record of 6 hours... I was quite impressed, you seem to have, what do you call it, game."

"... I'm not sure how to react to that. But, who are my children?"

* * *

At this moment there were three knocks at the door. Black Doom went to answer it while replying, "Ah, the guests have started to arrive."

He opened the door to find Sonic, Manic, and Sonia standing there. Sonic tapped his foot irritably and held up his invitation, "Mind telling me what this invitation is about?"

Black Doom ushered them inside, "Well it says Thanksgiving/Family Reunion. You three are family. Need I go on?"

Sonic stopped in his tracks, "What?"

Sonia crossed her arms and tossed her head, "Sorry tall, dark, and ugly but I'm positive we're hedgehogs, not disgusting aliens."

Manic twirled one of his drumsticks thoughtfully, "That would be cool! But, how would we be related?"

Black Doom pointed, "Well Shadow is your father. And I'm his father so that makes you a quarter Black Arms."

Shadow's jaw dropped while Sonic's eyes widened and said nervously, "Wait a second! Our mom was Queen Aleena, but nobody ever said who our father was! However, you can't be our dad because you were asleep for 50 years!"

"I woke him up for a 'special occasion', but anyways, did you say Aleena? I think I have a picture somewhere," said Black Doom while rummaging through his robe. After a few seconds of pulling out a few Black Arm weapons, papers in a foreign alien language, and a Chaos Emerald, he pulled out a photograph, taken by a Black Arm bat, of a teenage Shadow & Aleena fiercely making out in bed.

Manic & Sonia gasped while Sonic Spin Dashed into Shadow and shouted, "You sonofabitch!" The two tumbled about on the floor as Sonic attempted to strangle Shadow, "You dirty, drunk, motherfucker!"

"Oh the irony..." muttered Black Doom as he separated Sonic and Shadow with his arms held out.

"HEY! Show some respect to your 'father' faker! I was sure you didn't grow up to be a bad mouthing punk!"

"If you were my father then where were you all my life!? When we needed a dad?! Instead we all got separated and had to fight Eggman on our own! We could've finished him once and for all back then with you, but where were you, asleep in a capsule!"

"Its not my fault! How was I supposed to know?! Don't give me all that daddy issues crap, grow up for the love of Chaos."

Manic frowned, "Hey man, my bro has a point. Don't start nothin, won't be nothing."

Sonia added, "What Manic is trying to say is-"

"What in Mobius are these nasty pincushions doing here!" shouted Eggman as he floated in on his Egg Mobile. "You have some explaining to do here Doom!"

"Simple. Your grandfather Gerald Robotnik made Shadow with my DNA-"

"So I'm born from a gay couple?" shouted Shadow shockingly.

"Anyways... You Ivo is a grandson of Gerald, thus making Shadow your uncle."

"What?" cried out Eggman clichely.

"Hold up!" cried Sonic,"So if Shadow is Egghead's uncle and Shadow is my dad, wouldn't that mean..."

"That Ivo Robotnik is your cousin, then yes." finished Black Doom.

"That means hes my cousin too!" Sonia screamed, "EEEEWWWW!"

"Dude," added Manic with a grimace, "that's some creepy shit..."

* * *

There was another knock at the door as a Black Arms soldier opened it to show Tails & Cosmo walking in after flying in the X-Tornado to the Black Comet. Tails did a double take, "Sonic? Shadow? Eggman? What in the name of nuclear fusion is going on here?!"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing Tails!" called out Sonic, "Things are getting weird around here..."

"Like what?"

"Apparently I'm Sonic's father and Eggman's uncle..." muttered Shadow.

"Huh?!"

Black Doom then hovered over to Tails & Cosmo, greeting them, "Welcome Cosmo and... Tails... I thought I only invited you Cosmo?"

"Well I hope you don't mind if I invited Tails over since we just got engaged a few weeks ago, and I also needed his help to get into space..."

"What? You mean to tell me my daughter is getting married to a scrawny little kitsune?!" suddenly boomed none other than a ghost of Lucas (Dark Oak).

"What's going on here?" shouted Tails over everyone else's gasp.

"You didn't know?" asked Cosmo, "Black Doom is my father's great times like 100th uncle..."

"Which was a complete mistake after getting down at an old Seedrian Rave..." added Black Doom.

"So that means...?"

"I have Black Arm heritage, which gave me my inspiration when I tried to take over the universe," added Lucas' ghost, "I was trying to emulate the Black Arm style. But back to the subject at hand, this weak kitsune is going to marry my daughter after nearly killing her with me with that confounded Sonic Cannon?"

"It was the only choice at the time!" shouted Cosmo exasperated, "but at least that shows he IS strong!"

"That still doesn't make me trust him-"

"Lucas!" suddenly shouted a new ghost of Earthia, "What are you doing getting involved in the lives of the living, let alone our daughter?!"

"I just didn't want her to marry the wrong guy..."

"Well Tails is a perfect match for her now leave the living be!" retorted Earthia before looking at Black Doom and adding hesitantly, "Oh, hello Black Arm..."

"Goodbye... Seedrian..." muttered Black Doom as the ghosts of Lucas & Earthia left.

"Thanks for that Cosmo," said Tails while everyone started to take a seat at the long table, then adding in a nervous tone, "Wait, if I'm marrying you, that means Black Doom is my Great times 101 uncle-in-law, Shadow's my brother-in-law, and Sonic is my nephew-in-law?!"

"Your best friend is your new uncle son, that's just sad," scolded Shadow to Sonic.

"Don't call me that! I'm not your son, and your not my father! I hate you!" shouted Sonic before storming off.

"Aw, your son is hitting his rebellious phase," said Black Doom sarcastically, "Be sure to discipline him harshly though..."

Shadow answered incredulously, "What?! But, I don't want to; it's weird!"

Black Doom crossed his arms, "Come on now! My son didn't become the Ultimate Lifeform overnight. I had to put him through hell, both figuratively and literally."

Sonia came up and added, "I think you should Father. Sonic has always had a wild streak and I think its because you weren't around to guide him with a firm hand. Now's your chance to reel him in."

"Suck up..." muttered Manic, receiving a glare from Sonia.

Shadow then took the Chaos Emerald that Black Doom set to the side earlier and made some Chaos Spears, saying, "Fine... I got it covered... Oh Sonic my boy..." before Chaos Controlling away.

* * *

"So is that everyone grandpa?" asked Manic while eying the copious amounts of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and other Mobian & Alien foods.

"Not yet, we're missing a few more guests so be patient," replied Black Doom while thinking, _"Grandpa? I know I'm over 2,000 years old, the rest me losing track of, but now I feel my age is catching up to me..."_

Suddenly a time warp began to open up in the middle of the room over the table with Silver tumbling out, falling face first in a bowl of mashed potatoes and sending it flying onto Sonia.

"Ew! Where's the restroom?" shouted Sonia.

"Make a left after going through the Final Haunt area..." muttered Black Doom.

"Fine..." replied Sonia as she summoned her keyboard weapon, "Be back in a few..."

Blaze then came gracefully out of the portal and balanced on the back of a chair. Seeing Silver's epic fail she shook her head and sighed, "Really Silver? Ugh, how embarrassing... Pull yourself together."

Silver shook the potatoes from his quills and smiled bashfully, "Sorry about that." He turned to Black Doom and added, "I hope I ruin the only bowl."

"Not to worry, we have more where that came from ever since we put in a potato field a few hundred years ago. How did you think the Great Mobian Potato Famine happened? But if you don't mind my asking,who is that purple cat and what is she doing here?"

Silver stood and put an arm around Blaze, "This is Blaze, my wife."

Blaze elbowed him, "Silver! We're not supposed to announce it to everyone in the world!"

"Why not? We're getting married too," said Cosmo as she held out her right hand to show a glittering ring.

"Well Blaze is a princess and I'm just a normal person. The law states that she can only marry someone of royal descent." explained Silver as he hung his head.

Black Doom folded his arms, "Of all the incompetence, you _are _of royal descent!"

"I am?"

"Yes, your father is a prince; now where is he?"

With perfect timing Shadow Chaos Controlled back into the room with Sonic being held by his neck, covered in bruises and a few marks from the Chaos Spears. "Ow, I'm claiming Child Abuse..." muttered Sonic as Shadow tossed him to the floor.

"It's not child abuse, it's discipline. Now why is the pothead here?"

"Yeah what's with the slow-mo?"

"Ah, speak of the devil. I see you did a fine job of disciplining him Shadow, you never cease to make me proud." said Black Doom as he clapped Shadow on the back. "Anyways Silver, as I was saying your father is a prince. Isn't that right Sonic?"

Sonic jumped up, "Whoa, whoa whoa! Are you saying Silver is my son!"

Shadow burst out laughing, "That's rich! I may have a faker for a son but you get the pot-headed reject of a hedgehog!"

"But that's impossible! He's from the future! The _distant_ future!" shouted Sonic.

Suddenly Tails' jaw dropped as he tapped Sonic on the shoulder, "Um Sonic, do you remember that time we went to the future just for the hell of it?"

"Yeah what about it?"

"Do you remember that really pretty hedgehog you met?"

"Yeah but what does that have to... Oh Chaos... no, no, no it can't be!"

"Son," interrupted Shadow, " you didn't do it safely did you?"

"Um... Like Father like Son?" stuttered out Sonic.

Silver latched onto Sonic in a giant hug, "DAD!"

"Ah!" shouted Sonic while jumping out of the way, "No way I'd be the father of a slow pot-headed retard like Silver!"

Everyone else gasped at Sonic's comment, with Shadow scolding, "Son, that is no way to treat your son!"

"You have no room to talk faker!"

"Dad, grandpa, break it up!" shouted Silver, using his telekinesis to separate them.

"Wait, what did you call me? No way I'm the grandfather of that hedgehog recolor!"

"You're a recolor too!" shouted Sonic.

"Technically you are since I was born first son..."

* * *

Before the portal closed Eggman Nega fell through in one of his mechs, shouting, "Get back here Silver & Blaze!" He then looked around and saw Eggman, adding, "Father!"

"Oh hell no..." muttered Eggman.

"Eggman had a son?!" shouted everyone.

"You didn't think I was from an alternate dimension did you?"

"Ok Doctor Nephew, I gotta hear this," mocked Shadow.

"Might as well..." muttered Eggman as Nega sat next to him, "After the whole Neo Metal Sonic mess was settled I decided to take a vacation in a place called Soleanna, and to see if I could take it over after hearing of a rumor or two. I didn't find anything, as if it never existed to begin with, but I did have some enjoyment... But let's just say things got a little too crazy and this was born..."

"What do you mean 'this'?" shouted Nega, "Why did you get rid of me?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to hear I got Princess Elise pregnant!" shouted Eggman back, making everyone else gasp again, "That's why I made a Time Machine to send you about 200 years in the future a year or so after you were born, which got me interested in the properties of time, but I didn't expect you to live!"

* * *

Sonia returned from the bathroom muttering, "Yuck, why is always me who gets nasty stuff in their quills?"

"Sonia!" cried out Silver as she strode into the room.

Sonia stopped in her tracks and gasped, "Silver?!"

Blaze began to smolder as she grabbed Silver by the throat, "Who the hell is that?!"

Silver gulped, "Calm down honey. Sonia is an... old friend."

Sonic now loomed over Silver as well, his quills darkening to a blackish purple, "Silver... I swear to Chaos and everything that's unholy, if you touched my sister, I... will... kill you."

Silver's eyes widened, "Sonia is your sister!?"

"Yes, I am his sister. Why?"

Shadow whispered, "Silver is Sonic's son."

Sonia was silent for a moment before shrieking, "Oh my Chaos! I did it with my nephew!?"

Blaze dropped Silver as everyone else cried out, "You did what!?"

"INCEST!" cried Tails.

"Ooooooo" said Black Doom as he covered his mouth. "It would appear the cat's out of the bag."

"Not only out of the bag, but this cat is pissed..." growled Blaze as she drew a flame into each hand.

"You want to go bitch?" threatened Sonia, drawing out her keyboard weapon.

* * *

"Mom? Why are you fighting Blaze?" called out Amy as she walked in after sneaking a ride on Tails' Tornado.

"Mom?!" shouted everyone.

Sonic snatched up Silver and called out, "So not only did you do my sister, but you got her pregnant with... Wait, Amy?!"

Amy tilted her in a confused fashion, "What's your problem Sonic?"

"Well your parents are my son and sister, that's my problem!"

"DOUBLE INCEST!" cried out Tails once more.

"Wait... So I was born from Sonic's son and sister... Ew! That means I've been trying to marry my grandfather?!" cried out Amy, collapsing to the floor.

"I think I'm going to be ill..." said Cosmo weakly, being supported by the now horrified Tails.

"Growing up with a bunch of criminals in the sewers used to make me think my family was pretty messed up, but this, this is total wreckage!" called out Manic.

"Oh ho, this is amusing..." commented Nega.

"It would be if it weren't for the fact we're tied into this family!" corrected Eggman.

* * *

"Well... How about that turkey?" called out Black Doom somewhat nervously.

Sonic began to choke Silver, "You are a pathetic excuse for a son!"

At the same time Shadow choked Sonic, adding, "My thoughts exactly to you son! How could you let your son ruin the purity of our family?"

"This family got ruined the second Black Doom was born from Earthia!" shouted Eggman.

"Can it Eggman!" called out Tails, "Or did you forget your grandfather was part of the gay couple that made the FAKER!"

"Take that back furball!" shouted Shadow.

"Don't talk to my bro like that father!" weakly said Sonic, hearing the drowning music start to play.

"You mean your uncle?"

"Uncle, bro, I don't care! Just shut your damn mouth!"

Shadow slapped Sonic across the face, "I've enough of your attitude and your disrespect. I am your father and you will treat me as such!"

Silver countered with a levitated turkey to the face, "Leave my dad alone!"

"And you pot-head," shouted Shadow as he Chaos Controlled and kicked the back of Silver's head, "Respect your elders!"

The three began brawling about the room, breaking things and hitting each other while spouting profanities. Meanwhile Sonia & Blaze still had their weapons aimed at each other. "I'm waiting bitch!" cried out Sonia.

"I'm a cat, not a damned dog!" called out Blaze as she shot some fireballs at Sonia, who gracefully dodged them all before firing back with her keyboard, "You think that a little music is going to stop me? Whoa!"

At this moment Manic called out his drums and struck the ground near Blaze, "Yo, back off of my sis!"

Silver stood up and used his telekinesis on Manic to stop him from drumming, "Stay away from my wife!"

Sonic grabbed Sliver by one of his quills, "I'm not done with you, sonny boy!"

Sonia also joined Sonic, "Yeah, step off from our brother pot-head!"

"That's my girl!" shouted Shadow as she socked Silver in the gut.

"Wanna join in on the riot... Son?" said Eggman to Nega as he called in a Death Egg Robot.

Nega gasped as he looked at the robot, "Father... Is that really for me?"

"Go on, try it out! TIME FOR A CHANGE OF PACE!" cried out Eggman as he called in a new Egg Dragoon for himself, "Here goes!" Eggman & Nega both got into their mechs and launched a series of missiles throughout the room, nearly killing Cosmo in the process.

"COSMO!" Tails pressed a button on a remote and the Tornado burst through the wall. He jumped inside, "So that's how its gonna be huh? TORNADO TRANSFORM! BATTLE HURRICANE!" The Tornado's wings slid backward and large arms came out. Legs thrusted out of the boosters and the cockpit came upward so it sat on top. "EAT THIS! LAUNCH LIGHTING ROCKETS!" Small rockets shot from the body of the Battle Hurricane and flew at the Egg Dragoon and struck several direct hits, sending damaging electricity coursing through the machine.

"This will teach you!" shouted Nega as he fired the Death Egg Robot's arm at the Battle Hurricane.

Tails smiled as he pressed a button that caused the Hurricane to jump over the attack, "Too slow fat-ass! Now get a load of this!" Tails thrust the steering downward and the Hurricane charged down a devastating punch to the Death Egg Robot, but the Egg Dragoon shot his drill, heavily damaging the Battle Hurricane while knocking it to the side.

"A. That's my line!" shouted Eggman, "and B. Stay away from my son two tailed freak!" shouted Eggman triumphantly as he aimed his enormous machine gun directly at the cockpit, "Now to finish you!"

"Dammit nephew!" called out Shadow as he started to attack the Egg Dragoon, "That's too far!"

Sonic cut off Shadow with his own Homing Attack, shouting, "I've had enough of you Shadow! First you're a faker born from two dudes, but leaving my mother after a one night stand is too far!"

"If you have something to prove, come at me then!"

Silver used his telekinesis to throw knives from the now destroyed table, scratching Shadow & Sonic up, "I've got something to prove to both of you!"

"How about we make this more interesting then?" called out Shadow, holding out 2 Chaos Emeralds, one of his own and one from Black Doom.

"You read my mind," replied Sonic, holding out 2 more Chaos Emeralds, "Silver?"

Silver held out the last three, "Let's do this!"

"Everybody run!" shouted Eggman as the three hedgehogs started to turn Super. Everybody piled into the Hurricane, Egg Dragoon, and Death Egg Robot as they took off from the Black Comet, now glowing with the energy of Super Sonic, Shadow, and Silver.

* * *

During this entire mess Black Doom was sitting in a corner, muttering, "I only wanted to try and be nice, just this once to unite the family during one of the biggest holidays, but now the mess of my son, grandson, and great grandson has ruined that, so now I must step in as the patriarch..." While Sonic, Shadow, and Silver entered their Super Forms, Black Doom entered his own Chaos filled Form, Devil Doom, "SONIC, SHADOW, SILVER, NOW YOU'VE GONE AND RUINED THIS FAMILY, SO I MUST START OVER BY FIRST ERADICATING ALL OF YOU!"

"What?" called out Super Sonic, "Back off Doom, your time as the leader of this family has come and gone miserably."

"I have to agree with my son," added Super Shadow, "Your time is up, here and now!"

"Well let's attack then! The next generation is taking over!" shouted Super Silver as he used his telekinesis to gather some boulders, throwing them at Devil Doom, "And you guys call me slow!"

"Heh, about time son!" called out Super Sonic as he grabbed Super Silver's arm, "Now it's about time you learn how to Boost like your father and grandfather." Super Sonic took off in a powerful Boost, dragging Super Silver with him as Super Shadow followed with his own Chaos Boost.

"IT MATTERS NOT WHAT YOU DO," proclaimed Devil Doom as he fired an onslaught of lasers from meteorites circling around him, "I AM YOUR ELDER AND YOUR BETTER! AFTER I DISPOSE OF YOU, THE REST OF THIS PATHETIC FAMILY IS NEXT!"

"The hell they are!" shouted Super Shadow, "Come on sons, full speed ahead!" The three Super hedgehogs slammed into Devil Doom with amazing force, shoving him backwards, "How about we show Silver what Chaos power can do?"

"Chaos Control?" asked Super Silver

"Better, Chaos... BLAST!" Super Shadow grabbed onto Super Sonic & Super Silver as all three gathered their power, releasing a red-hued explosion that obliterated all of the laser meteorites and left a deep wound in Devil Doom.

"UGH... A STRONG ATTACK BUT IT WILL NOT STOP ME!" shouted Devil Doom as he Chaos Controlled away, gathering chunks from his own Black Comet to hurl at them.

Super Sonic shouted, "I got this!" He shot forward as little more than a brilliant streak of golden light, he sliced through the chunks creating more of them and sending towards Super Silver, "Now Silver! Go for it son!"

Super Silver flew forward, "I won't let you down dad!" Super Silver created a giant net of telekinetic energy, snaring every chunk.

During the combination that Super Sonic & Super Silver were doing, Devil Doom had been using Chaos Control to manipulate the entire Black Comet itself towards them. "Sons!" shouted Super Shadow as he rushed over to them and shoving them out of the way.

"What are you doing Shadow?"

"Silver, look!" shouted Super Sonic as he pointed at the incoming Black Comet, "He was getting us out of the way..."

"DAMN YOU SHADOW, YOUR BETRAYAL WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED!" Devil  
Doom Chaos Controlled in front of Super Shadow and grabbed him before Chaos Controlling again. The two reappeared in front of the Black Comet as it was hurtling forward. Devil Doom threw Super Shadow into the Black Comet, blasting him with a torrent of fire. Super Shadow collided with the comet, creating an enormous fissure and splitting it in two.

"Shadow!" called out Super Sonic and Silver. When the smoke cleared, Shadow could be seen floating limply, his golden coloring gone. Super Sonic and Super Silver flew to him.

Super Silver shook him, "Shadow?" The was no response, the black hedgehog was completely flew over in the Battle Hurricane and Super Silver put him inside. He then turned to Super Sonic, "What are we going to do dad?"

Devil Doom laughed monstrously, "I CAN NOT BELIEVE WHAT I HAVE JUST WITNESSED! SOME ULTIMATE LIFEFORM! SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR SUCH GARBAGE. HE IS NOT WORTH HIS TITLE, NOR IS HE WORTHY TO BE MY SON!"

With every word Super Sonic could feel rage boiling up inside him. He clenched his fists as the anger filled his very soul. The Chaos energy inside him was sifting, changing. It began to grow and feed off a single emotion; hate. Super Sonic's golden quills suddenly turned black as night and purple strands of energy jumped and sparked from his body. His red pupils lightened until they faded into the whites of his eyes. Sonic had gone from Super, to Dark Super Sonic. He disappeared in a flash of purple light and reappeared in front of Devil Doom. In a menacing voice he proclaimed, "I may hate Shadow's guts, but he is my father and my family. And _no one_ messes with my family!" Dark Super Sonic created a massive ball of Dark Chaos energy and blasted Devil Doom in the eye with it.

"ARRGGHH! YOU ILLEGITIMATE BASTARD CHILD! IF YOU WANT TO SHARE YOUR FATHER'S FATE, THEN SO BE IT!" Devil Doom called hundreds of meteors to him and began to fire lasers from them.

Super Silver flew in front and put up another telekinetic web, catching the lasers and throwing them back. However, the sheer number was beginning to overwhelm him as he cried out, "There's too many!"

Dark Super Sonic, who was firing balls of Dark Chaos energy to deflect the lasers replied, "We have to find some way to- Silver look out!" Dark Super Sonic pushed Super Silver aside and one of the lasers struck Dark Super.

"Dad! Ah!"

Devil Doom moved the meteors so that they surrounded the two on all sides and bombarded them on every angle. Dark Super Sonic and Super Silver were powerless as laser after laser struck them again and again.

"CHAOS CONTROL!" came the sudden shout. All at once, every stopped. The lasers were frozen in space and time was at a standstill. Dark Super Sonic and Super Silver recovered and looked about in shock. "Are you going to stand there with your mouths open or are we going to annihilate Doom like the badass family we are?" said Shadow as he stood atop one of the meteors.

Dark Super Sonic flew up to him, "You're ok!"

Shadow scoffed, "Of course I am. He just knocked the wind out of me. Silver, mind giving me a boost?"

"You got it!" Super Silver transferred some of his energy to Shadow, turning him Super again.

"How are going to beat Doom? Hes got us outgunned." asked Dark Super Sonic

Super Shadow grinned, "Son, its not about quantity. Its about quality. Silver, when I unfreeze time, focus every ounce of energy you got on immobilizing Doom. Crush him, don't let him move an inch. Got it?"

"Got it!"

"Sonic, make the biggest, most powerful ball of energy you can then wait for my signal."

"Right!"

Super Shadow removed the rings around his wrists, "Good. Lets do this!"

Time returned to normal as Super Shadow was gone in flash of gold light. He flew in circles gathering the laser shots and destroying the meteors. Super Silver flew towards Devil Doom and wrapped him in the biggest telekinetic net he could manage. "PUNY LITTLE HEDGEHOG! YOU CAN NOT HOLD ME!" bellowed Devil Doom as he spewed flame at Super Silver.

He dodged it and shouted, "Whatever you two are going to do, do it fast! I can't hold him for long!"

Dark Super Sonic groaned with effort as he forced every scrap of energy into the growing violet sphere over his head. From the bottom up, his coloration was fading back to its normal blue hue. Super Shadow came up beside him with both hands full of the lasers that he fused with Chaos energy, "Ready Son?"

Dark Super Sonic panted, "Ready and waiting."

"Silver get behind us!"

Silver released Devil Doom and bolted behind Super Shadow and Dark Super Sonic.

"Now Sonic! CHAOS LANCE!"

"DARK SPHERE!" Almost a thousand swords of light rushed at Devil Doom followed closely by a sphere of Dark Chaos energy almost the size of the ARK. Super Silver increased their velocity with one last surge of telekinetic power. The combined forces tore through Devil Doom, separating his lower half from his torso.

"YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME! I AM IMMORTAL! I WILL RETURN AND TAKE MY REVENGE ON ALL OF YOU! YOU ALL WILL PERISH!"

Super Shadow, Super Silver, and Dark Super Sonic dashed at Devil Doom together in a concentrated missile and shouted, "CHAOS CONTROL!"

"ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

A bright flash of light engulfed them and disappeared.

* * *

Everyone on the mechs watched in silence, waiting. Finally after seemed to be an eternity, a small portal opened up and all three hedgehogs fell out onto the ruins of the Black Comet. The mechs landed and everyone rushed to the hedgehogs. Tails shook Sonic, "Sonic? Sonic wake up!"

Blaze was kneeling by Silver, "Please, Silver you must wake up! Don't leave me!"

Eggman stood over Shadow, "Come on! This hardly befits the Ultimate Lifeform!"

"We can use the Emeralds to wake them up!" shouted Sonia.

Tails replied, "We can't! The emeralds scatter when they're used for such a massive Chaos Control."

Nega asked hesitantly, "So are they... dead?"

"Dude... not cool..." said Manic.

Amy began to sob, "Daddy! Wake up please wake up!"

Cosmo ran up, "Wait! I know what to do!" She produced a small bag and pulled out three leaves. She crushed and rolled them in her hands. Cosmo smeared the paste under the Sonic, Shadow, and Silver's noses. Everyone waited anxiously.

Suddenly Sonic gasped and bolted up right, coughing, "Oh Chaos what's that smell?!"

Shadow bolted up as well, "Ugh! What died and who shoved it up my nose?! Oh, thats rank!"

Silver breathed deeply, "Does anyone else smell apple pie?"

Blaze hugged Silver, "Oh Silver I lo-BLEH!" Blaze shoved Silver away as she smelled the paste.

"Cosmo what is that stuff?" asked Tails.

"Its a herb we use on my planet to awaken people who are unconscious. I would have used it on Shadow earlier but he woke up on his own."

Sonic rubbed the paste off his face as Sonia and Manic tackled him in a hug, "Whoa, easy!"

Sonia exclaimed, "We're so glad your ok!"

"Yeah. You kicked some major ass out there but we were worried you three went down with the ship!" added Manic.

Shadow stood and wiped off the paste, "Hardly. Devil Doom is tough but he'll be damned if he thinks he can take us down with him."

Amy stomped her foot, "Daddy, get that smelly stuff off your face so I can hug you!"

Silver continued to sniff the paste, "Seriously, why does it smell like apple pie?"

Sonic replied, "Cause you're a pothead. Uh, I mean... special."

Nega said to Eggman, "Would you look at that? His first patronizing words as a parent. All well that ends well wouldn't you say Father?"

Eggman nodded, "Yes Son, all well that ends well. but you know what? I'm starving! Because of this mess, we never got to eat. Lets all go to my base and get some grub!"

Everyone piled into the mechs and flew to Eggman's base, yet another version of the Death Egg. They all ate and enjoyed a fine Thanksgiving feast prepared by the robots. There was much talking and laughter around the table. At the end when everyone was going home, Sonic pulled Shadow aside, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Alright. What is it?"

"I'm... sorry for being such an asshole back on the Black Comet."

"I apologize as well... I suppose I don't know much about being a father."

"Just be glad you're not me."

"Oh trust me I am."

Silver called out, "Hey Dad! Come smell this! Blaze says I'm crazy, but I know I'm smelling apple pie!'

Sonic sighed, "Chaos help me."

Shadow patted him on the back, "Good luck straightening that one out."

"Thanks... Father."

"No problem Son."

_**The End.**_

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

**SonicFanaticInc.: Hey everyone! I know this is a little late but hopefully it was worth the extra wait. Me and Werehog20 worked really hard on this and we had a lot of fun doing it. It was definitely a different experience working with someone and coming up with something so crazy. Werehog will fill you in on what's real and whats absolute bullcrap. A lot of the connections were based on common jokes that circle about the fandom such as Shadow's 'gay' parents and other 'what if's'. Anyways, please read, review, and enjoy our blasphemous little oneshot. :)**

* * *

**Werehog20:**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this one shot because it was really fun to type this up. This really came from SonicFanaticInc's random idea if everyone was related and since it was near Thanksgiving I thought why the hell not type this, adding Black Doom and Shadow starting the chaos with my own crazy pairings along with the basic ones. Just to clear up what family connections are real:**

* * *

**Sonic, Manic, and Sonia are siblings from the cartoon Sonic Underground with Queen Aleena as the mother, but no father is given.**

**Black Doom is Shadow's father that was created with Gerald Robotnik's science, explained in the game Shadow the Hedgehog.**

**Nega is a descendant, not exactly a son though, of Eggman 200 years in the future, explained in Sonic Rivals & confirmed at Sonic Boom 2012. (This also gives some support to why Blaze was in the future with Silver in 06...)**

**Dark Oak (Lucas) & Earthia having Cosmo is from Sonic X (Only thing that was good from that in my opinion, until they ruined it in the end...)**

**All other family connections were fictional!**

* * *

**Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed and don't hesitate to ask one of us if something is confusing!**


	2. Christmas at Tails' & Cosmo's

**Christmas At Tails and Cosmo's**

**SonicFanaticInc. & Werehog20**

**Author's Note (2-2-12): This oneshot used to be on SonicFanaticInc's page, but to keep all the oneshots together for your convenience, they'll all be held under this one story. SonicFanaticInc's page will have another series of oneshots that has to do with the daily lives of the chaotic family, but that's still a work in progress. We'll still be working together on all of them.**

**And for those who have already read this and look forward to the next one, there's a sneak peak for you guys on the next chapter!**

**-Werehog20**

* * *

Snow had descended upon the Northern half of Mobius as Winter had hit its full effect, covering the hills, cities, and forests in a deep blanket of snow. GUN had given its agents three days off before Christmas, so Shadow was getting some much needed maintenance done on his home, shoveling snow haphazardly out of his driveway to finish as soon as possible. Just as he was about to finish none other than Sonic sped up to Shadow's house, in his Speed Star. Instead of Sonic's feet kicking up some powdered snow, the Speed Star's speed and size shifted the snow pile Shadow made back into his yard and driveway. "Yo Shad- I mean Dad!"

"Agh, Sonic!" cried out Shadow, trying to compress his anger, "Watch where you're driving! Wait, why are you driving when you're the fastest thing alive?!"

"I didn't want to get cold..."

"That's a convertible, it doesn't make a difference, and from what I've heard you've been to frickin HOLOSKA! Anyways, what's with the visit?"

"Well it's about to be Christmas and I was wondering where we were going to all meet up since you're technically the head of the family and stuff..."

"Oh yeah, since Black Doom is dead, I guess that does make me the patriarch... Well no way in hell we're having it here," claimed Shadow as he pointed his thumb back to the snow drift in his yard, "What about your place?"

"Eh, with the size of the family, I think we need someplace big... How about Tails' Lab at the Mystic Ruins? That place is sure to fit everybody!"

"Hm, why not? You go ahead and arrange that."

"Why me?"

"A. I'm your FATHER B. Because I have to clean up the mess YOU made C. It's Tails, why wouldn't you?"

"I know I'm just kidding, off I go!" With the press of a button, the Speed Star transformed into Plane Form and boomed away in the direction of the Mystic Ruins, drastically throwing even more snow on Shadow and his home.

"SONIC!"

**(Line Break Be Sure to Delete these notes afterwards lol)**

"Thats a great idea Sonic!" exclaimed Tails after Sonic finished tell him his idea about hosting Christmas at their home.

Cosmo entered the room wearing an apron and mixing a batch of cookie dough, "What's a great idea?"

"Sonic asked us if we would be willing to host Christmas this year."

"We would be honored! But oh my, with only three days till Christmas, we have to get busy! Tails, sweetheart, can you get the decorations while I finish these cookies?"

"Sure thing honey. Sonic, give me a decorations are in the garage."

Sonic followed Tails to the garage, and as they began to pull out boxes of Christmas stuff, he asked, "So Tails, when are you and Cosmo gonna tie the old knot?"

Tails blushed, "Well... We're still trying to find the right time. Plus with all the preparations, its hard."

"Well best of luck to ya." Sonic and Tails dug out four boxes of decorations and took them up to the living room. They dropped them on the carpet in the living room, spraying dust and cobwebs outwards with a loud thud.

Cosmo came in and shrieked, "AH! Look what you've done to the carpet!"

"Sorry Cosmo, we didn't realize the boxes were dirty." apologized Tails.

"Theres so much to do and now I have to vacuum the carpet too! Look at this mess!" shouted Cosmo, the anger becoming apparent in her voice.

Sonic stepped forward, "Don't stress, we'll vacuum it up."

Cosmo stormed back into the kitchen, "Ugh! Men! Always making messes and making things 10 times harder!

"Whoa, what's gotten into her Tails? Has she been spending time with Amy too much?"

Tails shrugged in response, "I have absolutely no idea what's going on with her. I'm a mechanic, not a psychiatrist remember? Anyways, while I deal with her, you start inviting everybody ok?"

"What do you mean 'while I deal with her'?!" shouted Cosmo from the other room.

"Oh boy, well good luck with that Sonic."

"Dude, I think you need that luck..." whispered Sonic before he boomed out of the house to invite the rest of the family: Manic, Sonia, Silver, Blaze, Eggman, Nega, and Amy. However, ever since what happened on the Black Comet on Christmas, things have been awkward between all of them. For instance, last time Eggman & his established son Nega were going after a Chaos Emerald in a GUN base, Shadow had intercepted him while Sonic happened to be nearby when the incident occurred. After they had all faced each other in the cellar holding the Emerald, Eggman stared awkwardly at his uncle Shadow and cousin Sonic before turning around and flying away. Silver's and Blaze's marriage was starting to become unstable due to the Silver/Sonia issue of having Amy as a child, who was nowhere to be found to make things worse.

**(Line Break)**

The next three days whizzed by and in no time at all it was Christmas. Tails and Cosmo had decorated their house beautifully with a 6 foot Christmas tree covered in lights, Christmas bulbs, garland, and ornaments in a rainbow of colors. On top of the tree was a large angel with its wings and arms spread wide. Furthermore, there were holly wreaths on every door and lights were strung on the walls and around the perimeter of the living room. Against one of the walls was a long table with all sorts of holiday snacks from candy canes to gingerbread to minty chocolates. Tails kissed Cosmo on the cheek, "We sure know how to decorate for a party don't we!"

"We sure do. Its so... beautiful!" Cosmo cried out as she kissed Tails and begun to sob hysterically, "All of the twinkly lights, and the tree, its all so pretty!"

"Why are you crying though? Didn't you have a Christmas like this back on your home planet?"

"I did, but it was so much prettier. We have these tulips that have lights inside of them and they're everywhere. They light up everything with their lovely glow. But I like this this too, its so... wonderful!" Cosmo gave a heavy sob before wiping her eyes and clearing her throat and sighing.

"Wait I'm confused, are you saying you liked Christmas on your planet or here more?"

"I like them both equally. Now, lets make sure everything is in place. Our guests will be here any minute!" Cosmo bustled away leaving Tails to watch her go with a bewildered look.

Proving Cosmo right, the doorbell rang. Tails answered the door, "Sonic, Sonia, Manic! Great to see you guys, come on in! Hey, where's your dad though?"

Sonic rolled his eyes, "He refused to get in my car and ride with us. He decided to travel with 'real class'." Just then, the roar of a motorcycle engine sounded from the driveway. Shadow got off his shining black and red motorcycle in flourish and sauntered up to the front door. "HA! I told you my convertable would make it here first!"

"I wasn't trying to get here first. I had to go to the store. Besides, you said it yourself, I wanted to travel in real class."

"What for Daddy?" asked Sonia.

"For this." Shadow produced a large bottle of holiday wine. "Its for the grownups only of course."

"Awww come on Dad! We're 21, its legal!" whined Manic as he reached for the bottle before Shadow pulled it away.

"Oh hello Shadow!" called out Cosmo as she and Tails went up to Shadow, "My that's an awfully big bottle of wine!"

"I just wanted to make sure I brought enough for the family sister... And hello my brother-in-law!" called out Shadow somewhat menacingly while ruffling up Tails' fur on his head, somewhat angering Sonic, "What is it son? Mad that your so called 'bro' is actually mine?"

"Dad... You're pushing it..." growled Sonic as he tugged angrily on the cuffs of Shadow's gloves.

"I was just teasing you son, why are you of all people getting worked up for-"

"DAD!" came the shout of Silver as he ran, or more like jogged, up to his father Sonic with Blaze facepalming not far behind. Sonic was unable to recover from his shock in time to dodge the tackling hug from his 'special' son.

"Gah! I don't know what's worse, one of Amy's tackles or yours!"

"Speaking of which, have you seen Amy? I've heard nothing from her since Thanksgiving! She used to call me at least every day to talk about her latest plan to win your heart and the new dress she bought, but I suppose that was before we knew that I was her father and you were her grandfather... "

"That must have been traumatizing," added Blaze.

"Poor thing. but we can't have Christmas without her!" whimpered Cosmo as her eyes started to water and her voice gained a quiver.

"Don't cry Cosmo!" called out Tails as he pulled Cosmo close to him, "Sonic, Silver, why don't you guys go find Amy while we finish setting up the table?"

Silver jumped into the passenger seat of Sonic's convertible, "You got it Great Uncle Tails! Come on Dad!"

"Oh Chaos, with this guy, IT'S NO USE!" muttered Sonic as he shuffled to his car and took off in a spray of snow.

**(Line Break)**

"So, do you have any idea where Amy would be?"

"After all those years of her stalking me, I think I may have an idea or two... First let's check her apartment in Station Square to see if anything is up..." replied Sonic as he moved the Speed Star in the direction of the urban jungle of Central City. When they arrived to the area of Station Square, they switched the Speed Star to vehicle form and drove up to Amy's apartment. However, as soon as they walked up to the door, they found it cracked open. When they entered, they found the apartment in disorder, as if it hadn't been cleaned in a while. From the looks of the piles of clothes and other items, it looked like Amy was in a hurry packing as well. "Huh, I wonder where she went...?" muttered Sonic as he rummaged through some of the piles.

"Dad, check this out..." said Silver as he levitated a small book to Sonic with the title of _Amy's Diary_ scribbled on it, "Maybe something's in here."

"Don't you know that opening a girl's diary is suicide?!"

"But she's my daughter, and your granddaughter! Now let's see here..."

_Dear Diary, _

_I had a vision with my tarot cards today! According to my cards, I'm to have a destined encounter at Never Lake! I'm so excited! I wonder what sort of encounter will it be? Well I'm off to the lake to find out!_

"Huh, that must've been when I first met Amy at Never Lake when Eggman tried to take over Little Planet and take the timestones..." muttered Sonic.

"I've visited Little Planet once," replied Silver, "it's a very nice place. That's where you and Amy first met?"

"Yeah, I was just starting my adventure when she ran up to me and would not let go... Anyways, what's the next one say?"

_Dear Diary, _

_Ever since I met Sonic, I knew he was the one for me! Its high time i stop waiting for him to rescue me all the time. From now on, I'm going to be independent and go get him! I recently got a new outfit, a cute little red dress and matching go-go boots! There's no way Sonic will be able to resist me!_

"I'm guessing this was before I saw her in Station Square with her new outfit... Go more ahead Silver, we need to see more recent ones."

_Dear Diary, _

_Its been a long time since i first met Sonic but I'm still no closer to winning his heart! But I refuse to be deterred! One day I'll get him to marry me! I just know it! I just have to keep bombarding him with my undying love and he'll come around! but... I can't help think that maybe Sonic and I are drifting apart..._

"Wow, Amy was really bent on marrying you wasn't she dad?"

"Yeah, I even remember we got into a fight just because she didn't want me to get out of marrying her; thankfully Cream, Big, Tails, and Knuckles were there too..."

_Dear Diary, _

_I'm positively ecstatic! I received an invitation to a Thanksgiving family reunion on the Black Comet! I don't exactly get why I'm invited but it sounds fun! According to my tarot cards, if I go, I'll get some sort of surprise. I bet the surprise is Sonic! Well I'd better get going before I'm late!_

"This must be when everyone got their invitations... Uh Dad, look at this one..."

_Dear Diary, _

_SONIC IS MY GRANDPA! ALL THESE YEARS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MARRY MY GRANDPA! AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, MY MOM IS SONIC'S SISTER AND MY DAD IS HIS SON! I'M A INCEST BABY! MY LIFE IS OVER, SIMPLY OVER! SONIC WAS THE ONLY ONE FOR ME! I DEDICATED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO WINNING HIS LOVE! MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING NOW, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!_

"And that was Amy panicking..."

"Poor daughter..." muttered Silver as he shook his head, "Wait, there's one more..."

_deAr DiarY, _

_i StiLl haVen't fOunD A neW meAniNg fOr liFe Yet bUt wHo caRes AboUt LifE DEATH sEemS sO mUch cooLer whEn yoU DIE You gO To HeAven aNd iN HeaVen EverYonEs haPpy mAybE iF i DIE iLL fiNd SomEthiNg eLse tO mAke Me hapPy bEsiDes SONIC_

"Why didn't I do anything?!" cried out Silver as he collapsed and banged his fist on the floor, "I could've been there for her, but instead I left as soon as I heard Sonia was pregnant like the piece of shit I am!"

"Whoa... Um, s... Silver, I understand this is a tough time and all, but this isn't the time to be breaking down; we still gotta find Amy. Now I think I have an idea as to where she is, come on."

**(Line Break)**

Meanwhile back Tails and Cosmo's, two Death Egg Robots stormed up to the house a series of explosions and mushroom clouds following them. Eggman popped out of the cockpit of his robot, "And that son, is how to make a dramatic entrance!"

"I see! I shall use this information for future reference." replied Nega as he rose out his own robot.

"Do you MIND!?" shouted Tails, "You're messing up my home!"

"Oh boo hoo! Sorry 'Uncle' Tails but I left my Give-My-Damn at home!" retorted Eggman.

"HoHoHO! Good one Father!" cackled Nega as he and Eggman exited their Robots.

Cosmo ran out onto the porch, "What do you think you're doing you oversized, talking egg!"

"H-How dare you be so rude!" stuttered Nega in a fury.

Cosmo turned to him with her hands on her hips, "Oh yes where are my manners, oversized talking EGGS!" Everyone gasped as she continued to rant, "One more more destructive act out either of you, and I'll get my frying pan and scramble both of you into an omelet with a side of sausages!"

Nega was cowering behind his father wide-eyed as Eggman said quietly, "Calm down Aunty Cosmo. It's Christmas..."

"Well, if you piss me off again, you'll be spending Christmas in HELL!" She then cleared her throat before saying in her normal sweet voice, "Now lets get inside. Its freezing out here! Come on!"

After an awkward silence, Eggman whispered to Tails, "Sure you want to be a part of this family? There's still time for you to back out..."

"Um, I'm sure she's just going through a phase... I hope..." replied Tails.

"Maybe it's her time of the month?" suggested Manic, "Women get very vicious at that time..."

"Just what are you trying to say?" said Sonia as she glared at her brother.

"Well once you get to know a girl long enough, you can tell when she's having THAT time... And you're no exception..."

Blaze smacked him with a smoldering hand, "You know absolutely nothing about women! Ugh!"

"You'd be surprised what I know..." answered Manic with a wink.

Blaze replied, "Well I know a lot about men. Like what happens when you do this with high heels!" With that, Blaze's delivered a swift strong kick between his legs, making Manic collapse into a snow pile and utter a high pitch remaining males grimaced as they proceeded to back away from Blaze, hands in front of their crotches to protect them from any further disgrace on the males.

"Hm, maybe my son Manic & Rouge should be together," said Shadow in an attempt to lighten the mood while lifting up Manic, "They both like to steal, they both like to hint at the expense of others..."

"You have a point there..." added Tails, playing along while putting some more distance from the women.

"What do you think son? I can hook you up, although you may have to fight an echidna for her, but he's stupid and should be no match for you."

Manic managed to squeak, "Thanks but no thanks Dad. I've had enough of girls for a while."

"Sure about that? I could have GUN ignore any robberies on your first date. Besides, a kick like that works as good as any vasectomy. No risk of pregnancy, so you won't make the same mistake as I did, or your brother, or your sister, or your nephew..."

"Wow, we have a lot of pregnancy issues in this family," called out Sonia, "Maybe we should have all the guys get vasectomies..."

Blaze smiled as she tapped the tips of her heels on the ground, "I can take of that!"

"Of course you'd like that," replied Shadow, "Crack open our nuts, then you'll be able to dig in whenever you want without the risk of children... Just what any horny woman would like..." Everybody's jaws dropped at Shadow's remark, with Sonia and Blaze shyly looking away embarrassed. "What, after everything that's happened in this family, I'm just tellin things how they are."

"Well, with that said," cut in Tails, "Lets go inside. Cosmos right, its freezing!"

Everyone awkwardly went inside and to the living room. To break the tense silence Eggman spoke up, "Say, where is that nasty little pincushion cousin of mine?"

**(Line Break)**

"Umm... Dad?" asked Silver nervously as they were in the Speed Star once more, desperately searching for Amy as they've checked about all of South Island, Apotos, and Spagonia while on route to double check Central City.

"What?" replied Sonic, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Can... Can... I drive for a little bit?"

"WHAT? And have you potentially wreck my sexy ass car?! Hell to the no!" scolded Sonic as Silver shrunk back scared in his seat, "Oh, sorry, I guess that was I was a little harsh..."

"Its fine... You're right, I would just wreck it... Like my marriage... Do you know what Blaze said to me on the way here?"

Sonic paused to read the stress and sadness on Silver's face before answering, "What did she say?"

"She said maybe we should start thinking about a... divorce. She said she just couldn't live with being married to a guy that slept with his aunt AND had a child by her. She had her 'reputation' to think of..."

"Oh... I'm sorry Silver. But Blaze is being too hard on had no idea Sonia was your aunt and how could you have known? It's still really gross and weird but still, you had no idea."

"I guess. But still..." Silver drew in a deep sad sigh as he leaned his chin on his hand, "I love her, I don't want to live life without her..." Sonic glanced at Silver and couldn't help but feel sorry for his son. A few more minutes went by before he suddenly pulled over. "Dad? What are you doing?"

"We're pretty much here but I'll tell you what, you can back the car into the space."

"REALLY?! WE JUST HAD THAT EMOTIONAL MOMENT THAT SHOULD'VE BONDED US CLOSER TOGETHER AS A FATHER AND SON AND YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO LET ME BACK IT UP?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!" Silver suddenly used his telekinesis to throw Sonic into the passenger's seat while Silver got into the front seat, flooring the Speed Star and making it crash into several other cars before transforming into Plane Form and skyrocketing out of the city with a boom.

"SILVER! What in Chaos' name are you doing?!"

"I think I know where Amy is now, just let me drive ok! Gosh, backseat drivers are annoying..." Silver then skillfully swerved the Speed Star around in a series of loops in the air before heading far from the city and into the wilderness.

"Whoa! Where did you learn those moves?!"

"Oh please, the vehicles you guys have are child's play compared to those in the future!"

**(Line Break)**

Back at Tails and Cosmo's house everyone was inside and enjoying cups of hot coco. Cosmo gathered up a few empty mugs and went into the kitchen as Tails followed her, helped her wash out the mugs, and refill them as Eggman stood and began to recount a overglorified tale of how he almost killed Sonic. Before they left the kitchen, Tails touched her on the shoulder, asking, "Cosmo, are you alright?"

"Yes, why?" she replied confusedly.

"Its just that you've been all over the place tonight. Like mood swings by the second."

"Really? I didn't notice I was doing that! I'm sorry Tails."

"Its fine but I wanted to make sure you're ok. Any idea why you've been doing that?"

"None at all. I don't know what could possibly be-" A loud CRASH! sounded from the living room. Tails and Cosmo ran into the living room to find everyone frozen in their seats with their mouths agape and Eggman was standing in the middle of the floor with one arm stretched out in mid-sweeping motion over a shelf on the wall. At his feet was the shattered remains of a small pot. Spilling out of it was potting soil and the rare Flowering Bonsai Tree. When Cosmo had left her planet to come live with Tails, her sister gave her the tree to remind her off home. It was Cosmo's most treasured possession and now it lay in two pieces for the trunk of the small tree had broken on impact. Cosmo slowly walked over to the remains of the tree and fell to her knees. The tears were spilling down her face as she buried her face in her hands.

"Eggman what did you do?!" shouted Tails angrily.

"It was an accident! I was merely recounting my epic tale of near glory! Besides, its just a stupid plant." the scientist retorted.

"JUST A STUPID PLANT?! JUST A STUPID PLANT?! WELL I'LL SHOW YOU A PISSED OFF PLANT THEN YOU FATASS SON OF A BITCH!" screeched Cosmo in a rage as she lunged at Eggman. Tails caught her by the waist and pulled her back as she struggled against him. "LET ME GO! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! LET ME GO!"

Tails pulled her into the kitchen, "Cosmo, what's gotten into you?!" Cosmo broke free of Tails grip, grabbed a large 10 inch knife and dashed towards the living room with a crazed look. "COSMO PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!" Tails chased after her and grabbed her wrist causing Cosmo to whirl around and stab him in the shoulder. Tails let go with a cry of pain and Cosmo ran into the living room.

"OH SHIT LOOK OUT! SHES GONE CRAZY!" screamed Eggman as Cosmo ran at him.

"Father!" cried out Nega as he ran into his Death Egg Robot and aimed an arm at Cosmo, "Step away from him you crazed cow!"

"COW?! Fine, I'll kill YOU TOO!" shouted Cosmo as she turned to Shadow and called out, "Give me your gun, and not just any, GIVE ME THE SHADOW RIFLE!"

"Obviously, you are mentally and emotionally compromised. As a responsible person I cannot allow you to have-"

"GIVE ME THE DAMN GUN!"

"I don't even have it on me!" shouted Shadow as he backed away slowly into a corner, Cosmo stomping madly towards him.

"BULLSHIT! SHADOW ALWAYS HAS HIS SHADOW RIFLE ON HIM!" cried out Cosmo as she reached behind Shadow and forcefully took his Shadow Rifle.

"My... My Hammerspace has been violated!" cried Shadow as he fell to the floor and shuddered, "How... How is that even possible..."

"And now for YOU to spend Christmas in HELL!" Cosmo pointed the Shadow rifle first at the Nega's Death Egg Robot and fired, but the massive recoil threw her back into the corner with Shadow.

"Shadow!" called Tails as he came from the kitchen with a makeshift bandage wrapped around his wound, "Get that away from her!" Shadow tried to wrestle the gun away from Cosmo but she elbowed him in the face, knocking him into the wall.

She turned the rifle on him, "STAY OUT OF MY WAY! I'LL SHOOT YOU TOO!"

"Just calm down Cosmo. Put down the rifle. You don't want to do this, so just put it down..."

"OH I WANT TO DO THIS, BELIEVE ME! YOU KNOW, I NEVER GOT PAYBACK FOR YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ON THE TYPHOON!"

During this whole fiasco Sonia, Manic, and Blaze were sitting on the sofa, trying to be still as Manic whispered, "Just stay still dudetes, she won't notice us if we don't move..."

"Idiot, that's T-Rexes! And thats not even true!" shot back Sonia.

"Pissed off pregnant chicks, T-Rexes, aren't they all the same?"

"Ugh, where's Silver when I actually need him..." whispered Blaze.

"Come to think about it, where are Sonic and Silver?"

**(Line Break)**

Sonic & Silver were still in the Speed Star as they flew over a series of mountains and valleys filled with grass, trees, and flowers of all kinds, slowly approaching a lake. "Never Lake? I guess it makes sense but what made you choose here right off the bat?" asked Sonic.

"Call it a father's intuition?" replied Silver as he lowered the Speed Star behind a few boulders, "Now where could she be... WHAT THE?!"

At the lakeside Amy was standing, staring at the sky where Little Planet would appear once a year. However, it was gone at the moment as Amy said out loud, "This is it. The place where I first met Sonic all those those years ago... I was so sure we were destined to be. But no, I was wrong. He's my grandfather and I'm nothing more than a retarded incest bastard child. There's no place in Sonic's heart for me and there never will be. No man could ever love me and I could never bring myself to love another. Sonic was supposed to be my husband, the father of my children, but that dream is forever dashed! I have no reason or right to live! I'll drown myself in the happy memories here and maybe, I'll find peace." With those last words, Amy walked up to a high cliff above the water and started to jump off.

"WAIT!" cried out Silver as he used his telekinesis to stop her descent and bring her back up to him and Sonic, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"Daddy? Sonic? What are you doing here?"

"We haven't heard anything from you since what happened on the Black Comet, so we wanted to see what was up." replied Sonic.

"Why didn't you tell us about this?!" added Silver.

"I'm not worth the trouble. I'm just a child who was never meant to be born! Just go away, let me jump!"

"No! Your are worth the trouble! You're my daughter, I would go through hell and back for you! I love you and so does your mother!"

"Silver is right Amy! I know its a little awkward after everything we've found out but that doesn't mean I don't have ANY place in my heart for you. You're a great friend, and my granddaughter for crying out loud."

Silver spread open his arms towards Amy, "Please honey, all of us love you! We would be devastated if you died! Come back to Cosmo and Tails' house with us so we can spend Christmas together as a family. Please..."

Amy looked over the cliff at the watery demise she had planned for herself and back at Silver and Sonic before bursting into tears and running into Silver's arms, "Oh Daddy I'm so sorry! I love you!"

"I love you too Amy." replied Silver as he and Sonic hugged her tightly.

"Lets go back to Tails and Cosmo's house, everyone's waiting for us!" said Sonic as they went back to the Speed Star.

"Ok... I bet that place is in Chaos without you Daddy and Grandpa..." added Amy as she started to walk away from the cliff and to the Speed Star.

"Hey Silver, come here for a second."

"What is it Dad?" hesitantly asked Silver.

"You did a good job handling that... Son..."

"Really?!" cried out Silver as he tackled Sonic, "You mean it?"

"Ow yes now please get off of me Silver!"

"Hey!" called back Amy as she dove towards them, "Daddy, don't tackle Grandpa Sonic without me!"

"Oh come on guys! Ow easy on the quills! Ok ok, enough! Lets get to Tails and Cosmo's house." Silver and Amy released Sonic and the three hopped into the Speed Star and took off for the house, unaware of what was waiting for them.

**(line Break)**

Sonic, Silver, and Amy walked up to the front door as Sonic stopped in front of them with his ears perked, "Do you hear that?"

Silver listened before answering, "Is that shouting?"

Amy went to the door and began to turn the knob, "Oh, I'm sure that it's just the Eggmen telling some BS story. Come on, its cold out here!" As they walked inside, they found Cosmo bright red with anger as she held up Shadow's Rifle, aimed at everyone else who was cowering in a corner scared out of their minds. "What the heck is going on here?!"

"Sonic!" called out Tails, who was at the front of the group due to everyone continuously nudging him forward as he tried to backup, "About time you showed up; Cosmo is out of control! Even I can't do anything against this!"

"Silver!" called out Blaze, "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"I was finding my daughter and bonding with my father Blaze!" shouted back Silver, bringing out his own rage, "I don't care what you have to say about my family, they are my family regardless of what has happened and if you can't stand it then maybe we should get a divorce!"

Everyone, even Cosmo, froze at what Silver had just shouted. Amy rushed next to Silver with Sonic behind them as Blaze stood up and replied, "Do... you really mean that?"

Silver drew himself up to his full height and puffed out his chest. He put an arm around Amy's shoulder, looked back at Sonic, then looked Blaze in the eye and replied, "Yes I do."

"I... I guess I have been a bit harsh... Maybe a divorce wouldn't be the best idea without trying to work things out... Silver... I'm sorry..."

**(line break)**

"AW THAT IS SOOO SWEET!" cried out Cosmo as she collapsed to the floor in a fountain of tears, allowing everyone to get up safely, Shadow to reclaim his Rifle, and for Tails to comfort Cosmo, "Tails, I'm so sorry for everything I've done!"

"It's ok Cosmo..." replied Tails as Cosmo cried into his shoulder, "but if you don't mind, why have you been all over the place lately? Why did you get mad to the point of using Shadow's Rifle against us?"

"That's an easy answer Tails!" called out Blaze & Sonia, "When a girl is like that, that means that..."

"I'm... pregnant Tails..." muttered Cosmo.

"Oh my..." shockingly answered Tails as the guys stared at Cosmo then at Tails.

"Whoa, never thought the little guy had it in him..." said Manic.

"That puffball, doing THAT to my sister?" added Shadow, "I don't believe it..."

"Tails," started Sonic, "in all my years I never would've thought that you would do such a thing! Getting a girl pregnant before marriage!"

"Oh shut up Sonic," called back Tails, "You, Shadow, and Silver all had One-Night Stands!"

"But you're supposed to be the good, innocent person in the family!" countered Eggman, "yet you did it with Cosmo before marriage!"

"You just couldn't wait a bit longer could you?" added Nega, "Sigh, I need to find a girl of my own..."

"Oh no, we can take all these one-night stands and stuff," called out Sonic, "BUT ANOTHER EGGMAN, NO WAY!"

"Can we just eat dinner now?" weakly said Tails, blushing at all the comments made, "Please tell me you have dinner made dear Cosmo..."

A timer in the kitchen rang as Cosmo replied sweetly, "Dinner is ready!" before skipping to the door and hinting, "Maybe later you can tell the guys how you got me drunk with some wine and did those pleasuring things to me with your two tails you naughty kitsune..."

"WHAT?!" cried out Tails as the girls' jaws dropped while the guys called out to taunt him.

Shadow looked at the large bottle of holiday wine, "Maybe I shouldn't have brought this." He smiled up at Tails cruelly, "You seem to have have it covered puffball, or should I say hardball?"

"Why did she have to hit that mood..."

"Hey, maybe she'll stay in that mood and you'll get lucky and 'score' an extra Christmas gift!" added Silver while elbowing Tails.

"Son!" called out Sonic, "Don't talk like that in front of your daughter!"

"Oh please!" retorted Amy, "I've thought of far kinkier things before!"

"Say what?" said Sonic & Silver in unison.

"Nevermind... Time to eat right mother?!"

"Yeah..." answered Sonia and Blaze before staring at each other, both giving a death glare.

"Oh my," muttered Silver.

"Yeah, good luck with that son..." muttered back Sonic.

**Line Break**

Cosmo poked her head out of the kitchen calling out, "Dinner is on the table! Come on, come on before it gets cold!" Everyone went into the kitchen and all of them took a seat at the table.

"Since you're the head of the family now, you should sit at the head of the table Shadow." said Tails pointing.

"No no, you should sit there. After all, it's your house and you're getting lucky tonite." replied Shadow with another sneer and a laugh. With an angry glare and some muttering Tails sat down at the head of the table. After a warm and delicious dinner of ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, figgy pudding, and a pecan pie, the family gathered around the Christmas Tree in the living room, which was overflowing with gifts due to the sheer size of the family.

Tails picked up a present and read the label, "To: Shadow From: Sonic. Awww little Sonny got gift for his daddy!"

"Shut up, you're just trying to get peoples' attention away from your 'gift'!" retorted a red-faced Sonic while Shadow opened his gift.

"Oh... My... Chaos..." gasped Shadow as he moved the wrapping paper aside and reached into the medium sized box, holding up a set of customized dual Colt Revolvers. They had a glimmering finish and engraved in red on their wooden grips was, 'To a Dad who's way past cool.'

"AAAWWWWWW!" came the response from the family as Sonic looked to the side while Shadow said, "Son, these are some damn fine antique Colts... How did you find two of such a classic model let alone get them finished like this?"

"It took a lot of looking around, but being the fastest thing alive it was no sweat... Heh..."

Shadow got up and hugged Sonic who hugged him back, earning another, "AAAWWWWW!" and a loud sob from Cosmo.

"Oh please don't cry Cosmo..." said Tails in a comforting way while reaching for another gift, "Not until you open my gift anyways..." Tails handed Cosmo a thin box of decent size with a big white bow. She slowly unwrapped the present and lifted the lid. She gasped which turned into a sob. Cosmo pulled a beautiful, white wedding dress out of the box. it was long enough to sweep the floor and on the skirt was sparkling with beads and the bosom of the dress had very light green, delicate, silk roses.

"Oh Tails... Its beautiful!" sobbed Cosmo, "Its absolutely beautiful!"

Tails took her hands and said, "Cosmo, I found a way for us to be married on February 14th. I know thats a little soon but-"

"YES! YES OF COURSE!" cried Cosmo as she tackled him to the floor and began to kiss him.

"Whoa, get a room you two, then you can make her say 'YES' all you want!" interrupted Shadow, a bit jealous that his moment was abruptly over, "Sigh. Times like this make me long a flame of my own."

**Line Break**

"AHEM, WHAT ABOUT ALEENA?!" called out Sonic angrily, somewhat dark at that statement, "You know, the girl you fucked then left to have, hm, ME! WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK TO HER?!" There was a clang as the mailslot of the house opened and shut, "Huh? Mail on Christmas Eve?"

Sonia went over to find a postcard. She cried out, "Its from Mom!" Manic and Sonic rushed to either side of her and gasped.

Nega scoffed, "I feel sorry for that mail carrier. Oh, wait, no I don't."

Eggman added thoughtfully, "No no son, there's no mail on holidays."

"But dudes! That means..." said Manic slowly. The triplets yanked open the front door and dashed onto the porch.

They looked around wildly in all directions until Sonia cried, "Over there!" Disappearing into the snow was a Mobian wearing a red hooded cloak.

"MOM! COME BACK!" called out Sonic. The Mobian stopped and turned their head slightly revealing a snout and purple bangs before she continued to walk and vanish into the white. The triplets went solemnly back inside as Sonic picked up the postcard where Sonia had dropped it, "Well... at least we still have this..."

"Don't just stare at it, read it!" demanded Manic.

Sonic read from the front of the card, "_Dear, Sonia, Sonic, and Manic, I'm sorry that we must spend yet another Christmas separated. It tears me apart that we cannot be together during this holiday but know this my wonderful children, I will always love you and I will always be with you in your hearts. Check the back of this card to find your Christmas present. -Love Mom_ Present?" Sonic turned the card over to find three pictures of Queen Aleena attached. Each triplet took a picture and sighed sadly.

Shadow looked over their shoulders and whistled a cat call, "Whoa! I've been missing out! She hasn't aged a day!"

"What do you mean by that?" asked Sonia.

"You see daughter, there are two kinds of women in this world. There are those who age like cheese and become musty and moldy, and then there are those who age like wine, who become more refined with each passing year and Aleena my dear looks like the finest of wines, if you know what I mean."

"Say what now Dad?" said Manic shockingly, "You calling our mom Aleena a MILF?"

"Say wha?"

"MILF: Mother I'd like to... well... you know..."

"Uh..." stuttered Shadow, starting to blush slightly.

"Yeah DAD, care to answer?" added Sonic angrily, picking up one of the Colts he gave to Shadow, "Or do I have to demonstrate this for you?"

"Well not necessarily..." Shadow tried to say calmly as he drew the other Colt up, "but perhaps I ought to find her for the comfort of you guys, my children..."

Before things deteriorated Silver quickly used his telekinesis to grab both Colts and aim them at Shadow & Sonic, "Grandpa, Dad, DON'T GO THERE! You wouldn't want to show this violence to my daughter would you?" added Silver as he elbowed Amy to put on a cheesy innocent look.

"Fine..." muttered Sonic, "This isn't over yet Dad... Anyways, who was next?"

**Speed Break! *Sigh* No just a Line Break lol**

"It's my turn blue rat!" shouted Eggman as he shoved the hedgehogs aside to pick up a remote control he left on a nearby table, pressing a switch.

"Blue rat?!"

"That reminds me, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your books about the _Arabian Nights _and _King Arthur_."

"I DO MIND! Why did you take those?!"

"Just wanted to make up for lost time with my son..."

"..."

"... and also see what the Erazor and Black Knight did wrong to beat you..."

"Well at least you might give me a better challenge than those two, but anyways hurry up!"

"Wait a moment! Damn, what's taking them so long?!" shouted Eggman as the door opened to show Orbot and Cubot each carrying a box inside, one tall and one wide yet slightly bigger than their own size.

"Here are the gifts boss!" called out Cubot in his standard high pitched voice.

"Eggman Nega, these are for you, enjoy..." added Orbot with a sarcastic tone at the end. All of the sudden the boxes shook and rattled until they tore apart, showing a tall robotic rooster and a stout drill & tank tread bearing machine.

"BAWK-HA HA! Scratch and Grounder reporting for duty your Obese-ness." crowed Scratch as he saluted.

"Yes, thank you for reactivating us your Round-ness! We'll get that pesky hedgehog for sure this time!" added Grounder.

"YOU FOOLS! I'm not your master anymore! He is!" scolded Eggman as he pointed to Nega, "You shall serve my son with whatever he commands you now that I have new updated help..."

"Oh my..." muttered Nega before shouting, "SCRATCH? GROUNDER? You are the... BEST FATHER EVER! Giving me some of your first robotic minions as my own firsts?! Thank you! I'll be sure to make my own from these!"

"I've even added the blueprints of some of my Badniks in their memory for you to study and use; after you perfect making them you can have my plans for SWAT-Bots and perhaps even my iconic Egg Pawns."

Blaze whispered to Silver, "My job just got a hell of alot easier."

"Thank you so much! I'll be sure to outrig them with all kinds of weapons from the future to update them! Homing Missiles, Mind Control Rays, Paralysis Bombs, Poison, the possibilities are endless!"

"Looks like you spoke too soon." Silver replied.

**Line Break**

"Shit... Anyways, who's next?" added Blaze cheesily.

Silver got a nicely wrapped box from the shrinking pile, "You're next my sweet." Blaze took the small box with flushed cheeks and pulled off the ribbon, slowly opened the box, and gasped. Inside was a ruby brooch not unlike the small stone on her forehead, for it appeared to be carved in layers so that when it was turned in the light, it appeared to burn. Silver removed it from the box and pinned it to Blaze's top, "Perfect."

Blaze's eyes began to tear, "Silver... Its gorgeous!"

Cosmo burst out with a sob, "Oh Chaos why do i keep crying?!"

Tails hugged her and and patted her belly, "Calm down, its just the baby. So who's left? This one's for... Sonia. From: Manic."

"Manic?" said Sonia surprised, "Oh boy, what did you get me, another dirty shirt from the Underground?"

"You're never going to let that one go are you?!" retorted Manic, "I actually paid top dollar for this gift!"

"Top dollar to the best robber?"

"A hedgehog never tells where his/her gifts come from, now go on!"

"Well it feels awfully light..." muttered Sonia as she opened the box up and pulled out a slip of paper, "Hm... A claim ticket for a... A VICTORIAN CONCERT GRAND PIANO?!"

"Well yeah, I noticed that you kept looking at that thing nonstop every time we went downtown. I never understood why you'd want that since you have your medallion, but I never did understand fancy rich stuff right?"

"This must have cost you a fortune! How did you get it? You didn't steal it or anything suspicious did you?!"

"No way sis, he got it legit," added Sonic, "I was even there when he bought it; he was saving for a few years just to buy that for you, hence all the bad gifts in the past, and even then I had to throw in some rings of my own."

**Line Break**

"The last gift is for you Amy." said Silver as he handed a gift basket to Amy.

She read the tag out loud, "To: Amy From: Silver, Sonic, and Shadow. Awww you all got me present! I can't wait to see what it is!" She carefully undid the wrapping and pulled off the bow. She pulled out a card, opened it, and read it, "'Dear Ames, things have been really rough lately so you deserve a night out at one of the most jumping joints in town. Have fun. -Sonic.' Oh my gosh! A VIP Pass into Emerald Paradise! Thats the fanciest club this side of the globe! How did you..."

Sonic shrugged casually, "I DJ there. Besides, this way I can keep an eye you too, heh heh."

Amy pulled the next item from the basket, "EEEEEEEE! Its a coupon for a full treatment at Fabulous Quills Beauty Salon!"

"Of course! When a girl goes out to a fancy club, she need a do to match." Said Silver with a grin.

Amy tackled him in a hug, "Thank you so much Daddy!"

"AHEM!" said Shadow impatiently, "Theres still one more thing in the basket."

Amy found a small, well wrapped box and opened it, "Wow! Little pink pistols! But umm... What are they for Grandpa Shadow?"

"To keep the men away."

"But I wanna meet men. I have to find a new love of my life you know."

"Alright fine, just the bad men."

"How do I tell the difference?"

"The bad ones just have that look about them, its like uhhh..." put in Sonic as he turned to Shadow and Silver, "Who wants to demo?"

Cosmo spoke up, "Like this Amy!" She then turned and gave Tails the most evil, ill-intentioned look that screamed rape and possibly murder afterwards.

"I need an adult..." whimpered Tails as Cosmo scooted closer to him.

With everyone's presents opened, the family sat and talked about the next time they would gather. As ideas were being thrown around, nobody noticed that Scratch and Grounder snuck off to the corner. "I don't get it Scratch! I just don't get it! Why would Robotnik being hanging out with the hedgehog? And who are all of these other people?" asked Grounder as he scratched his head.

"Who cares who the others are! I bet this is a genius plan by Robotnik so we can nab the hedgehog! He'll be so proud of me!" replied Scratch.

"You mean of us!"

"Whatever! Just get him!" As everyone was talking, Sonic had started to strum Jingle Bells on his guitar. Much to everyones amazement, Eggman actually said something funny and the family was collapsed in laughter. "Now's our chance Grounder! Get him!"

Sonic swung his guitar and it smashed into their faces, "Nice try dumb bots!" The two fell over with stars and blots circling their heads.

"Did we get him?" groaned Grounder.

"No numb nuts, he got US!" replied Scratch weakly.

Sonic laughed and said, "Looks like you two still have a couple loose screws that need to be tightened!"

Tails face palmed, "Oh boy! This sure brings back memories! Sonic, please tell me you're not going to start breaking the fourth wall too?"

Sonic looked at the reader and winked, "Only to end the story Tails, only to end the story. MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"God bless us, everyone." added Tails with a grin.

Shadow jumped in, "Tails you can't say that! You might offend people! Besides morons, when this posted, Christmas will be long gone in Earth time! As a matter of fact, it's almost New Years!"

Silver crossed his arms, "The Christmas spirit never dies. Besides, can we help it if the authors were lazy and slow?"

"They are way too slow." replied Sonic with a shake of his head.

Tails shouted, "Ok, ok! Let's end this already!"

"Geez don't get your tails in a twist! Well Happy New Year's everyone!"

**Authors' Notes (Original Notes):**

**SonicFanaticInc.: Sorry this took so long. There was a lot things Werehog and me wanted to do but we weren't sure how to fit them all in. But we got it done regardless! We hope you enjoyed the misadventures of this extremely dysfunctional family. But hey, at least they're trying. We had a lot of fun typing this up and we most certainly look forward to other major holidays. But don't expect anything for News Years though! We're taking a day off! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and please don't forget to review. **

**Werehog20: Thanks for reading, even though this is way late. Unlike SonicFanaticInc I did have a basic idea for what to do, I just needed some help getting it all down lol. We won't do anything for New Year's, but I'm not taking a break since I have a bunch of things planned to post on my own page. Thanks for reading and I hope you check out other stories that we both have!**


	3. LEFUKMESANU 2013

**LEFUKEMESANU 2013**

**SonicFanaticInc & Werehog20**

Shadow was on his way to GUN Headquarters as he munched on a dark chocolate donut and drank black Adabat coffee, nothing out of the ordinary for a morning before work. However, as he passed by an electronics store in the middle of town, all the screens suddenly changed to the image of a motley of aliens: former Black Arms, Seedrians, even Wisps were visible. "What the?" wondered out loud Shadow as humans gasped in horror.

"Attention Humans and Mobians of Mobius," announced a large Black Arm, "First of all, we are not planning an invasion like your stereotypical films show you!" Everybody sighed in relief as he continued, "Your planet has been chosen to host the 2013 festival of LEFUKEMESANU! Prepare your finest for this universal holiday in 1 Mobian month from now!"

"Ohhh boy...Better report to GUN... Chaos... Control!"

Shadow Chaos Controlled into the control room of GUN as all of the main scientists were in shock as they watched the footage. "How...? How are they broadcasting a worldwide video?"

"Shadow," called out the GUN Commander, "I assume you've seen the video by now?"

"Of course."

"Got any idea about what they said since you're related to those Black Arm scum?"

"Actually I know exactly what it is. LEFUKEMESANU is a universal Mardi Gras that the entire universe takes part of..."

"A Universal Mardi Gras? So we're supposed to host a festival that's most likely to get aliens drunk, cause disasters on the streets, and ruin the world? No way!"

"But we must," suddenly interrupted none other than the President (now serving his 4th term in office and signs of aging starting to appear), "If we don't host this holiday we'll anger the universe and cause the end of the world... But if we do successfully pull this off, we may earn the respect of other planets and make Mobius a universal power... Shadow, since you actually know about this, I'm issuing a Presidential Order for a temporary festival town in Green Hill to be constructed and prepared under your and the Commander's supervision."

"What?!" Shouted the Commander and Shadow at the same time, "Do you even have that power?!"

"Implied powers, gotta love that ideal. Now go!"

* * *

Meanwhile Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were in Tails' and Cosmo's home as the news struck. At first everybody was clueless until Cosmo, now two months pregnant, squealed, "LEFUKEMESANU coming to Mobius?! Woot Woot!"

"You know about this?!" exclaimed Tails as the trio stared at her.

"Who doesn't?! Ohhh yeah, this hasn't happened on Mobius in a long time has it? Anyways, every year the United Federation of Galaxies chooses a planet to host this huge festival where everyone can basically do whatever the heck they want!"

"Kinda like Mardi Gras?" added Knuckles.

"Its FAR bigger than a Mardi Gras!"

"Well you seem excited about it, or is it the baby hormones?" asked Tails.

"A bit of that but I'm honestly psyched since when they last had it on my home planet I was just a baby myself! Now I get to experience it! Tails, we have to go!"

"I don't know... I don't want to risk the child..."

Cosmo started to whimper, "Please... I've always dreamed of going with the cutest guy and now that I have that guy... *Sniffle*"

"There there, we'll go just no liquor ok hon-"

"YAY! Sonic, Knuckles, you'll come too right?"

"I just got like a million messages from clubs asking me to DJ for them so guess so!" replied Sonic as he finished checking his phone, "I'll even convince the one I accept to give everybody in the family VIP passes."

"I'll have to pass," countered Knuckles, "The entire universe coming to Mobius will require me to be at my best, so I'll have to guard harder than ever."

"But come on Knux, you've only had this cameo up till now!"

"A. It's KNUCKLES! And B. Stop breaking the 4th wall! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to guard my Master Emerald and prepare for next month..."

**A. You just broke the 4th wall yourself. And B. Fine, we're done with your cameo anyways...**

"Wait wha-"

* * *

A month later the temporary party city, now dubbed Mardi City, was fully built. Hotels, businesses, and restaurants that catered to aliens, humans, and Mobians went on as far as the eye could see, turning the wide open fields of Green Hill into a crossover between Empire City and Casino Night. The festivities were to begin the next day as Shadow went walking through the wide streets while vendors prepared for business and performers readied for their parades to make sure everything was on the up-and-up. The black hedgehog suddenly spotted by an alien food stand that he had not seen before, so he investigated and nonchalantly stated, "Hello, my name is Shadow the Hedgehog and I'm with G.U.N., the organization that's overseeing this festival. Would you be so kind as to show me your selling permit and inter-galactic passport?"

The alien, a floating green creature that resembled an amoeba with arms and an almost uncountable number of eyes, looked confused, "watfdlv? wghjagl?"

"Oh I beg your pardon, I thought you spoke English." Shadow brought out an earpiece with microphone and clicked it on. "I'm with this planet's government and I need to see your selling permit and inter-galactic passport." As Shadow spoke into the microphone, it came out in the alien's language.

Now able to understand, the alien grew nervous, "fndnwnwebl. snldaghgsehr."

"Sir it was made quite clear to all planets that any and all vendors wishing to sell food or merchandise here on Mobius would have to clear it through their planet's government and receive a permit. It was agreed on by the United Federation of Galaxies Council. See, its right here." Shadow held up his G.U.N. tablet showing the decree.

The alien began to get edgy and its many eyes swam over the liquid surface of its body, "sbkjdrbrtns! rhthpiufhtpqbwh! akhgkuyfasjhr, kjsnlhaqwhgjfgsf, abkabtkryavvsl!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now listen, I don't know what a abkabtkryavvs is but it damn well sounds like an insult. You had a month to get that permit. However, if you calm down and tell me exactly what you're selling, I can call my superiors and we might be able to let you keep your booth."

It thought for a moment before producing a large pink fruit resembling a spiky durian from under the table, "Spilavkhvlr. smnlgsglbbrfb!"

"Spilavkhvlr? Just a second." Shadow pulled out his walkie talkie and called out, "GUN HQ this is Agent Shadow, I need some info on an alien food over."

"This is GUN HQ, state the item in question over."

"Spilavkhvlr. s-p-i-l-a-v-k-h-l-r. Its pink and spiky."

"... We got a hit. It's a fruit found on many planets, but it's been banned by the United Federation of Galaxies for its various parts contains several different powerful narcotics that induce hallucinations, uncontrollable sexual urges, violence, and general disorderly conduct. Proper course of action is to close the stand and take the alien into custody immediately."

"Roger HQ. Over and out. So sir, got something funny to- HEY!"

Due to the fact that Shadow forgot to turn off the translator, the alien quickly bolted into a small flying saucer and sped down the main road, knocking Mobians and aliens alike aside while taunting, "WINOAEFOII MUTUER FUKARS!"

"Finally an excuse to fire my rifle again..." muttered Shadow as he hopped onto his GUN Motorcycle and took off in pursuit. In an attempt to lose Shadow, the saucer ran into various stalls, booths, and tents invoking swearing in a rainbow of languages. Shadow maneuvered with ease through the flying debris and away from whatever was still intact, firing several shots, but the unpredictable flight patterns of the saucer resulted in one grazing blow with all others missing and further damaging the street. "DAMN!" cursed Shadow as he revved his motorcycle and sped up. When he was closer, Shadow took aim again, waiting for the saucer to enter his cross-hairs "Make a fool out of me will you..." The saucer drifted to the right, smack in the middle of Shadow's aim. "Gotcha." Shadow fired, the bullet boring through the lower exterior of the saucer and into its engine. A silver flamed explosion broke out as the vehicle began to swerve out of control and careen towards a daycare filled with child aliens. "Nooo!"

At the last second a harsh blue wind flew past, knocking the burning saucer into a hillside as it exploded completely and the crowd cheered, "Dang Dad, I thought you were supposed to build the town, not crush it! Yeesh, might as well use a Chaos Blast while you're at it!"

Shadow brought his motorcycle to a stop while growling, "Sonic... I've got my hands full enough with trying to keep some sort of order around here without your smart mouth."

"What, no 'Thank you so much my favorite son for helping me save the day?' No pat on the back? I'm offended and hurt." replied Sonic feigning sadness by wiping his eyes and drooping his ears.

"I'm going to run your ass over SON..."

"Child abuse! I have witnesses!"

"I'm with G-U- Fucking N so I can just call it disorderly conduct and resisting arrest so don't pull your CPS crap on me!"

Sonic whistled, "Wow, twisting the law too? That's new, and here I thought the government agents just invaded people's privacy and squandered our tax dollars. Remind me again why you work for them? Especially since they're the ones who killed Mar-"

"SHUT IT SONIC OR SO HELP ME CHAOS I'LL BLAST YOU BACK HOME! Now get on the damn motorcycle!"

"Why? I got two legs that aren't broken."

"GET ON THE DAMN BIKE!"

"Ok, ok, jeez. Have you been drinking or something? You seem more grouchy than usual."

"Can't I get just two minutes of silence out of you? Would it kill you?"

"Yes."

"Then try." Shadow took off down the street with Sonic uncomfortably sitting behind him. "Now, I wanted to ask you if you knew how much of the family is coming to town for the festivities. With all these weirdos arriving from not even Chaos knows where, I want to make sure everyone is well informed on what the hell could be out there."

"Well... I kinda invited everybody..." responded Sonic sheepishly.

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Cool it Shad, they're all coming to the same club that I'm DJing for so no need to get your panties in a bunch!"

"First of all, call me 'Shad' again and you will not live to see tomorrow. Second, if that's the case, I want everyone staying at the same hotel as a group. I got a file about a foot thick full of alien species coming to this planet that are not to be taken lightly and I'll be damned if one of the family gets impregnated or put in a cocoon or some shit like that. You-know-who is still desperate for love, remember?"

"Oh yeah... But come on, she may be a total strawberry blonde but she's not an idiot. She's got a good head on her shoulders and standards."

Shadow held up the Spilavkhvlr still in his possession and stated, "Alien drugs. Enough said. That's why I want to get everyone together."

"Whoa, I think I saw that on Planet Wisp once... Anyways, fine, but I don't think everyone is coming to begin with, so I'll tell you who will tomorrow ok... Shad?" Shadow immediately hit the brakes on the motorcycle, sending Sonic flying off. After nearly hitting a building, the blue hedgehog landed accidentally on a short little alien with a mushroom shaped head and shouted, "What's your deal!? You could have killed me!"

Shadow smirked, "That was the idea, I warned you. Be lucky I have other things to do or else I would finish the job." With that, Shadow took off in the direction of the hotel where he was staying at during the festivities.

* * *

As the evening approached, Mardi City exploded into a barrage of mayhem as last minute preparations were underway and humans, Mobians, and aliens flocked to the hotels that lined the main road. One such visitor walked through the gates into the city with a suitcase in one hand and a brochure for a hotel in the other, a human of Mobius yet not from any of the nearby countries. When she had reached her hotel of choice, the Mobian Resort, she stood in line to get a room. After what seemed like an eternity, she was able to reach the desk where she politely asked, "Hello, I made a reservation for a room here about three weeks ago? Room 8C?"

The receptionist, looking extremely tired and irritated, took a huge gulp from her coffee cup before replying in what was obviously fake cheer, "Thank you for choosing our hotel madam but I can't do anything for you without your name and your reservation slip."

"Oh that's right! Sorry, I have the slip right here in my suitcase." She bent and rifled through her luggage and pulled out the reservation slip. She passed it to the receptionist, "Here you go, all of my information should be-" Here she stopped and stared a pile of flyers sitting on the desk.

The receptionist rolled her eyes, "Excuse me! There are people behind you, can we please move this along?"

The girl snatched up one of the flyers, causing the stack to fall and scatter about the floor, "Can it be?! It can't be!"

"Madam please! There are other people in line who I'm sure would like to get to their rooms sometime tonight!"

"But look, look! This flyer for Wild N' Groovy! Look who the DJ is!" shrieked the girl as she waved the flyer in the receptionists face.

She snatched it and after a quick look-over snapped, "They got Sonic the Hedgehog to DJ for them, whoopee. He's the best DJ on this half of the planet so I guess that's going to be the club everyone goes to. Now, about your res-"

"You know Sonic the Hedgehog?!"

"Not personally, I know who he is but who doesn't? Now seriously, I need your name and ID and you can get your room key so I can help the rest of these people."

"Hm? Oh yes I'm sorry; here's my ID."

"Thank you Ms. Anyways, here's your key, room 8-C. Have a... nice night."

The girl quickly took her key and jumped on an elevator headed up. She still had the flyer in her hand and studied it carefully, memorizing the address as she muttered, "So Sonic, it looks like we shall meet again." She smiled evilly at this, causing everyone else in the elevator to scoot into the corners.

* * *

Later that evening, the family that had come for the festivities were gathered in Shadow's hotel room. Present was Sonic, Silver, Tails, Blaze, Amy, and Cosmo. Shadow himself, oddly enough, was not there. "I wonder where Grandpa Shadow is?" pondered Silver as he reclined on a sofa with Blaze at his side.

"Eh, he's a G.U.N agent so he has to work security for this shindig. Right now he probably ran into some trouble, making him late, but in the meantime, I need to review my playlist for tomorrow night." replied Sonic as he pulled out his mPod and headphones and began to listen to the large selection of music he had chosen.

"I hope he'll be alright... It would break my heart if something happened to him. Oh just the thought!" fretted Cosmo as she began to cry.

Tails hugged her and stroked her hair, "There, there, I'm sure he's fine. This is Shadow we're talking about! Honestly, I'd be more worried about whatever or whoever got in his way."

"I wonder why he wanted to have this little meeting anyways?" asked Amy, "Why did he want all of us to get a room in the same hotel. What's there to worry about?"

At that moment Shadow entered the room glowing faintly red as he was covered in a yellow goop. "Goddamn alien scum and their goddamn drugs and goddamn weaponry."

"There you are Grandpa! Eww... What's that gunk you're covered in?" said Silver pointing to the substance dripping from the black hedgehog's quills and clinging to his face.

Blaze quickly covered her nose, "Ugh! It stinks! What happened to you?!"

Sonic looked up and burst out laughing, "You look like someone used you as a tissue! Did you meet up with an alien from Planet RunniNose? Or did you wanna 'bogey' before anyone else? Ha ha ha ha!"

"SHUT UP! It's because of me doing my job that this event will be relatively safe!" snapped Shadow. "Now excuse me while I clean up."

With that Shadow went into the bathroom with Sonic calling after him, "Yeah, make sure to get that one spot that's all over you! Ha Ha!"

"Sonic you shouldn't be so mean to Shadow, he's working awfully hard at his job. Besides he's your Dad!" scolded Amy.

The azure hedgehog kicked back in the armchair he was sitting in, "Whatever, he tried to kill me this morning. Payback is a bitch." Sonic smiled as he resumed his music, "Payback is a huge bitch. Isn't that right Tails?"

The fox shook his head and sighed as Shadow reentered the room, removing a towel from his head to dry his ears., "Alright lets get this over with. Its getting late and I want to get some- hey what are you guys snickering at?" Everyone in the room was stifling giggles except for Sonic who was making no attempt to conceal his laughter as he nearly fell out of his chair. "What?! What's so funny?!"

Amy giggled wildly, "Your quills! Their sticking up in a mohawk!"

"What are you-AH! What the hell?!1!?"

"Ha ha... Wait, 1?" asked Silver.

"Hm... Typw,tpe, type, UGH TYPO!" stuttered Tails, "AND A BAD ONE AT THAT!"

"Seems a bit too deliberate if you ask me..." wondered Sonic, "Especially since we're talking about it..."

"There goes the fourth wall again..." added Blaze as she facepalmed.

"Oh please, the fourth wall is just a myth!" returned Silver, "We even proved it in the future."

"We should just get back to the issue at hand before the universe implodes or something like Solaris happens..." reminded Cosmo.

"Ok... Wait HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SOLARIS?!" exclaimed Shadow.

"I... um... Ha ha, Shadow has a mohawk!"

"It's just the baby hormones, just roll with it," motioned Tails, "Anyways, it was was Sonic's idea! I told him it was a bad idea but he insisted, so I whipped up some trick gel. Please don't kill me."

Shadow looked as if he might explode but he quickly calmed himself, "I just don't care anymore. I'm tired and I want to go to bed so let's just get this done."

"What is this even about?" asked Blaze.

"Well, with all these different species of aliens coming to Mobius, the governments of their planets and our own did their best to limit the amount of dangerous substances and items coming here. However, even on other planets, have drugs, will smuggle. So lots of contraband has slipped through security." explained Shadow as he brought out his tablet. "I'm going to pass around my tablet with pictures of illegal substances and objects that you might encounter while partying tomorrow. Tails and Cosmo, you two should find this especially helpful in insuring your baby's safety."

Tails took the tablet first, "Thanks Shadow. Wow, there's a huge list here!"

"Exactly. A lot of these things are not harmful to the aliens bringing them, but they have serious if not fatal effects on- Sonic, take those damn things off and pay attention!"

"I have a crapload of music to review in this playlist and it needs to be ready for tomorrow night, so just keep going I'm listening," scoffed Sonic with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Just take them off for 5 minutes. 5 minutes!"

Sonic rolled his eyes and took off the headphones, "Fine."

Shadow continued, "As I was saying, these things are harmless to the aliens but are possibly fatal to Mobians and humans. Frankly, I don't give damn if you do drugs from our planet but I want all of you to stay away from these substances. In addition, these aliens have different customs and act-"

Shadow stopped as he heard Sonic whisper to Tails, "Psst! Who do you think aliens would like more? Lady Baba or Michael Jackalope?"

"SONIC! If you don't put that away, you're going to wish you were never born!" Shadow yelled with a Chaos Spear already forming in his fist. With a glare and some muttering, Sonic put away his mPod. "Now shut up and listen! Anyways, these aliens act differently and do things we normally wouldn't consider socially acceptable. Here, these are alien translators. When you turn them on, any alien language will automatically translated into English and when you speak into the microphone, it will be translated back." Shadow handed out a translator to everyone and showed them how to work it.

"Wow! These are Chompin'!" exclaimed Amy as she tried hers on.

"Chompin'?" asked Shadow, puzzled.

"Yeah! If something is Chompin', its really awesome. It's like how people used to say wicked or chill."

"Hey!" said Sonic as he fiddled with his, "I still say chill. And I'm not the only one cause I had someone tell me the other day when I was at work that my sneakers were totally chill. I say wicked too."

Tails laughed, "Were you DJ-ing at a retirement home? People stopped using chill in the 1960's; get with the times."

"On my home planet, if something is cool, we say blooming." added Cosmo.

"In the future we say fruity!" put in Silver with a grin.

Blaze put her hands on hips with a frustrated sigh, "No Silver, only YOU say that. In the future, people went back to using expressions from the 70s such as 'far out'."

Shadow rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I'll never understand why people keep inventing new slang to say the same thing. Back in my day, if something was cool, we just said it was cool. Simple as that. Anyways, one last thing. I strongly advise against any actions with aliens that involve your bodily fluids mixing with theirs. This includes kissing, sharing drinks, sneezing on them or them sneezing on you, etc., etc. It could be toxic or something. Thats all. Just use your common sense and don't be stupid. Now get of my room so I can go to sleep."

* * *

The next day, the streets were full of humans, Mobians, and aliens as the celebration of LEFUKEMESANU 2013 began. Surrounded by the best G.U.N. agents, including Shadow, the President strode onto a large stage in the middle of the main street. He tapped on a microphone set up in the middle giving a short burst of feedback, "Ahem! Greetings and salutations humans, Mobians, and aliens of all kinds. It is an extreme honor for Mobius to be hosting Lefu-ka-mi-san-you 20-"

Shadow tapped the President on the shoulder and whispered, "Mr. President, its pronounced 'Le-fuck-meh-su'."

"Ah, that must be why so many of them look confused."

"Well yes but you also forgot to turn on your translator sir."

"Oh, yes, that would certainly help." The President turned on his translator and continued, "My apologies everyone. As I was saying, I welcome all humans, Mobians, and aliens of all kinds to LEFUKEMESANU 2013 which Mobius has the tremendous honor of hosting. I extend a special welcome to our extraterrestrial visitors, many of which have traveled millions of lightyears to get here. We thank you for coming. In addition, a hearty thanks as well to all of the aliens offering their exotic foods and goods for sale. As for native residents of our great Mobius, I ask you to treat our guests with nothing but respect. Also, during the festivities do not be alarmed if you see armed G.U.N agents roaming the city. They are there only to ensure everyone's safety. Now, I'm sure you've heard enough of my babbling and want to get to partying. I started on the way here!" The President took out a large bottle of vodka and proceeded to take a huge swig. "AAHH! Lets party!" With that said, the Mobians and humans facepalmed in embarrassment of their political leader as the aliens cheered with their own drinks high in the air.

Sonic, who was standing in crowd with Tails and Cosmo, rolled his eyes and shook his head, "This is why I've made an effort not to get involved in the government. Just a bunch of drunken monkeys."

Tails shrugged, "Not much to get involved in. Nobody runs against him anyways... Wait, aren't you technically prince? Do something!"

"Nah, I don't have what it takes to run a country. If I did, I would still be in Camelot."

"Not that! I meant Prince of South Island along with Manic & Sonia!"

"Oh, well it's really just a title. My mom has all the real power. If you want something done, go kill Eggman and put her back in charge..."

Tails crossed his arms and huffed, "Fine. But after I marry the woman of my dreams and raise my little son. Then I'll risk my life to fix the government even though no Mobian really abides by human law. I can't remember the last time I paid taxes to the human government."

"AWW Tails, you're so-" started to squeal Cosmo before tossing him back like a ragdoll and shouting, "Hey, wait a minute! What makes you think OUR baby will be a boy!?"

"Uhhh... fatherly instinct?"

"Bullshit!"

"Sonic, help a bro out here!"

"Sorry buddy, I wanna look around the festival for while before my shift at Wild N' Groovy starts. Plus theres no way in hell I'm siding against a pregnant woman. I want to live thank you, but don't worry, I'll show up at your funeral." In gust of wind, Sonic boosted off into the crowd.

Tails' namesakes twitched with annoyance and growled, "Fine, leave me to fend for myself." He turned to Cosmo more cheerfully, "Say, why don't we drop this baby business and look-".

"SO NOW YOU WANT ME TO GET AN ABORTION?!" shrieked Cosmo, drawing a crowd.

"NO! Of course not! I meant-"

Cosmo cut him off, "Oh no, I know exactly what you meant! You can find yourself another baby mama cause I'm outta here! PEACE!" With that and a flash of the peace sign, Cosmo stormed off into the crowd.

"Cosmo! No! Come back!" Tails tried to follow her, but the crowd pushed him back as everyone moved to the sidewalk since a huge parade began to come down the street. "COSMO!" he attempted to shove his way through but it was no use. With a frustrated shout, he jumped up and began to fly over the crowd. He scanned the mass of people, Mobians, and aliens but he didn't see Cosmo anywhere. "Cosmo... where did you go?"

* * *

The girl from the Mobian Resort was standing among the crowd on the street watching the parade and cheering as the many grand and glorious floats went by. After a minute or two, she began to tire of the claustrophobic conditions and went to the market section of the town. As she wandered the winding paths of stalls and tents she said out loud, "Wow, there's such a huge variety of stuff! Maybe I can find a present for Sonic here. I wonder if he even remembers me; it's been so long! Hmm, plus, how am I even going to find him? Well, from what that receptionist was saying, Sonic is some sort of celebrity nowadays. If he's famous, people are bound to know where he is! Now, who to ask...?" The girl looked around and spotted an extremely tall alien chatting with an alien that resembled a bush. She walked over slowly and tapped the alien on the hip, "Excuse me?"

The alien turned around and looked down, "blorgasti?"

The girl frowned, puzzled, "Oh you don't speak English do you? If only I hadn't left that translator thingy in my hotel room!" The alien was still looking at her so the girl said slowly pointing to herself, "I'm... looking..." She made a notion as if she had binoculars than held up four fingers. "For... someone. Can you..." She pointed at the alien then at herself. "Help me?"

"Me speak good English. No need talk stupid to Zorgoanstasticcloshgf." replied the alien as it crossed its arms. "Who you look for human? Zorgoanstasticcloshgf busy catching up with friend."

At this, the little bush creature began to chatter, "Yeahgirlybimbowatchawant? Webusyheregotsightstosee,peopletotalkto,alcoholtop ourdownourasdfasdf!"

"Wha?" asked the girl tipping her head.

Zorgoanstasticcloshgf rolled his one huge eye that covered nearly all of his face, "Tell Zorgoanstasticcloshgf and Bushinighn who you look for."

"Oh yeah. I'm looking for Sonic the Hedgehog. He's blue, about this tall, and is faster than the speed of sound. Have you seen him?"

"Hmmmsoundslikewhatihadfordinnerlastnighthahahahja hahahaha!" cackled Bushinighn, her leaves rustling.

The girl suddenly shrieked at the top of her lungs, drawing the attention of those around her and even busting a few ears of an alien unfortunately behind her, "YOU WHAT?!"

Zorgoanstasticcloshgf patted the girl on the head and laughed, "Silly human! Bushi make joke. We no see you friend. Never hear of him. Ask other place."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" shouted the girl as she turned bright red and held Zorgoanstasticcloshgf by what looked like his neck and threatened, "NO, Zorgoanstasticcloshgf TELLS "BIMBO" WHERE SONIC IS OR ELSE I'LL-"

During the commotion a G.U.N. officer came over and pried the girl off and said, "Ey, Ey, Ey! What's going on heres? You twos ain't trying to start somethin' are yas? Cause wes dont need no trouble during this heres festival."

Zorgoanstasticcloshgf said indignantly, "Crazy human girl attack Zorgoanstasticcloshgf like rabid boldglst when Zorgoanstasticcloshgf do nothing."

The girl put her hands on her hips, "As if! I asked you for help but instead you just made a cruel joke!"

"Alright, alright! Listen here yous. Theres plentys to see and do so I'm gonna ask yous to leave these twos alone and move alongs." ordered the officer as he shooed the girl away. She walked away in a huff and began to look for someone else to question.

* * *

As she went along, she thought out loud, "Maybe I should ask a Mobian instead. Sonic is a Mobian so other Mobians should know who he is!" She glanced around before spotting a prime target. She walked up to a green hedgehog with a mess of quills exploding from his head in all directions wearing a red vest and an orange fanny pack.

The hedgehog was talking with a vendor about some drumsticks he was interested in, "Really bro? You're telling me drumsticks made from the coral on your home planet produces the best sound in the galaxy and you won't let me test them? Dude, I know a scam when I see one, especially since I've pulled a few myself!"

"Um, pardon me." asked the girl, "I'm looking for someone. Can you give me a hand?"

The green hedgehog turned around and looked the girl up and down, "Sure, anything for a hot babe like you. Names Manic. I hope you're not looking for your boyfriend."

Blushing she answered, "Oh no hes not my boyfriend. I'm looking for Sonic the Hedgehog. Have you heard of him?"

"Heard of him?! Babe, hes my bro! I'm guessing you're one of his fans?"

"Uhh.. Yes! One of his biggest! I want to get his, um... autograph, yeah, his autograph."

"Well, hes working that one club, Wild N' Groovy tonight. You can snag it then."

The girl pleaded with big watery eyes, "But I don't want to bother him while he's at work! You're his brother! Surely you must know where he's staying!"

Manic shrugged his shoulders, "Sorry dudette, I don't just give my bro's info out like flyers."

The girl hung her head sadly but it quickly shot up again as she asked innocently, "Say, Manic, can I show you this one booth over here?" Several minutes later, Manic and the girl exited a tent labeled 'Fitting Rooms' next to a clothing booth. The girl was smoothing out her dress as she said, "So can you tell me where he's staying please?"

Manic, his face bright red as he adjusted his fanny pack, replied, "Might as well. But you're not one of those psycho fangirls are you?"

"Oh no, not at all. I'm just looking to hook up with him again."

"Ok then. Don't tell him I told you but he's staying at the Mobian Resort. What's your name anyways? I at least try to know the names of the chicks that I bang. Or bang me..."

The girl smiled slyly, "My name is Elise. Thanks for your help Manic, call me sometime." With that, she turned and walked off into the crowd.

As Elise walked away, Manic rifled through his pack until he pulled out a thin, see-through pair of white panties and wondered out loud, "Man, Sonic is gonna get LAID TONIGHT! I hope he doesn't mind being on the bottom though. The chick is a man-eater!"

* * *

Later that evening, the parades began to cease as everyone was either going back to their hotels to get ready for the giant party that night or to the market to purchase alcohol and outfits. As Silver, Blaze, and Amy were on their way back to the hotel to meet with everyone before the party started, they came across a stand filled with all kinds of alcohol ranging from basic, recognizable ones to oddly colored concoctions in bottles of all shapes and sizes. A pink alcoholic beverage inside a corkscrew shape bottle caught Amy's attention as she stopped to look and called out, "Hey Daddy, can I get this?!"

Silver opened his mouth to reply but Blaze cut him off and said sternly, "You certainly can not! You're underage!"

Amy put her hands on hips, "You can't tell me what to do! You're not my mom!"

"Whoa there Amy," quickly cut in Silver, "I know this is a hard time, but Blaze is your new mom now..."

"I don't care! I like my real mom better! She wouldn't be such a stick in the mud!"

Blaze scoffed, "Perhaps if your mother was less footloose and fancy free, she wouldn't have had a child with her nephew! If I'm going to be a stepmom, I intend to do a better job."

"See Daddy, she even hinted that it would've been for the best if I wasn't even born!"

Silver sighed and put a hand on Amy's shoulder, "Sweetie, I'm sure she didn't mean it like that, but Blaze has a point..."

"When did you become whipped?! Back when you were with Mommy you'd stick up for what you believed in, including what I wanted!"

"AMY! I am not whipped! And where did you hear that sort of language?! Have you been hanging around Great-grandpa Shadow?!"

"Maybe, but at least he made me realize this. He even said it himself that you used to be 'ok for a pothead' before you went gaga for this... this... this stuck up pussycat! And I bet half of the reason why he bothers to stay with you is because he hopes to get some but like you even put out for him, so what else was he to do?!"

"AMY ROSE!"

Blaze's eyes were flashing angrily, "'Stuck up pussycat'?! I am a princess, not some bratty, daddy's girl, incest child!"

Amy's eyes were pouring tears as she stomped her foot and shouted, "I HATE YOU! YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE MOMMY! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!"

"AMY ROSE, you stop this right-" scolded Silver before Amy cut him off.

"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU TOO! YOU ALWAYS TAKE HER SIDE! I DON'T CARE IF MOMMY IS YOUR AUNT, YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT HER FOR THIS PUSSY! WHAT DO YOU EVEN SEE IN HER?! SHE'S ALWAYS SERIOUS, COLD TO EVERYONE AROUND HER, AND NEVER GIVES YOU ANY ACTION, AS IF SHE HAD THE BODY TO ANYWAYS!" Amy turned on the heels of her go-go boots and took off before anyone could stop her.

"AMY WAIT!" called out Silver in vain, "Ugh, I'm sorry about that Blaze, I guess she's still not over this whole incest ordeal, but she had a point. I mean you could be a little compassionate... Blaze? Blaze?!" As Silver looked around, he found Blaze nowhere to be seen, "DAMMIT! Why do all of the women in my life abandon me!? From my mother to my wife to my daughter!" Silver purchased a bottle of hard whiskey from the alcohol stand and took a drink. He started back to the hotel and muttered, "UGH! Sometimes I wonder why I just don't kill myself! No one would miss me anyways... But hey, I'd be setting a poor example for Amy wouldn't I... DAMN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

"Silver? What are you yelling about?" said Tails as he came up, his own bottle of alcohol, a simple Mobian beer.

"Oh hey Tails. Some fucking holiday this is turning out to be! My wife took off and so did my daughter! Chaos I hate my life!" ranted Silver as he took a drink.

"I know what you mean, my fiance also took off just because it sounded like I said something wrong. What have we ever done wrong?!"

"Ah! Absolutely jack shit! And I'm tired of taking abuse from women!"

"I know! Just for once I'd like to be the dominant fox I should look to be!"

"You know what Tails? Amy said I was whipped and Blaze always says I'm too soft towards Amy. Well I'm going to prove them BOTH wrong by saying 'Fuck you both! I dont give a shit anymore!'" yelled Silver pointing at some invisible people.

Tails raised his beer in agreement, "Hell yeah! Let's go to the club and find ourselves some smoking hot chicks for tonight; our women will be begging on their knees to take them back and then..."

"AND then we'll get the respect and action that we deserve! Just thinking about Blaze kneeling down to give me what I want is motivating enough!"

"I can't wait to show Cosmo the fox I can be by pouncing on her and showing who's boss!" Both took a huge drink from their bottles and went back to the hotel together to get ready to snare some women to make their own women jealous.

* * *

Meanwhile, the sun had gone down and Sonic was setting up his DJ table. As he was plugging in various speakers and amps, a young, nervous looking sparrow came up to him. He stood there for a minute until Sonic looked up and said, "Can I help you?"

He cleared his throat and held out his hand, "Um... my name's Danny. I'm a huge fan. So is my girlfriend."

Sonic smiled and shook it, "Always nice to meet a fan, Danny. Is your girlfriend here too?"

Danny shook his head, "No, she's meeting me here. But, um..., I was wondering... Do you take requests? You see, you're the only DJ here that plays AND performs music. I met my girlfriend at a club you were working while you were playing 'Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman' by Bryan Aardvark on an acoustic guitar. I'm planning on popping the question tonight and I want it to be special."

"Say no more. Just let me know when. Good luck to you Danny." agreed Sonic with a wink and a thumbs up. Sonic finished setting everything up as people started to file into the club. To get a beat going, Sonic put on 'Be Cool, Be Wild, Be Groovy'. Almost everyone had some form of alcohol and those who didn't, immediately went to the bar. When a decent crowd was on the dance floor, Sonic checked his translator was on, cut the music, and grabbed his microphone, "Hey how's everyone doing tonite!?" A whooping cheering response rose from the crowd. "Good to hear.. Tell me ladies and germs, how many Mobians are in the house!?"

"CHEEPCHEEP!ARROOOO!MEEEOOWW!CAWCAW!BAAAAA!" came from the many species of Mobians.

"How many humans!?"

"WWWWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!" came the shout.

"Ok, now how many aliens to we have in here!?"

A near deafening roar answered, "RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Whoa! Everybody make some noise for our visitors from past the stars, the furthest reaches of the farthest galaxies and beyond! Come on, give 'em hand for coming out here!" After the applause, and cheering died down, Sonic continued, "I like you guys, you're good and noisy. I love that in a crowd. I worked a funeral once and except for my music, it was silent as the grave! I said, 'What's with you people!? You'd think someone just died!' They didn't find that funny one bit and threw my ass out, heh heh." The crowd erupted into laughter with a few boos. "Eh, that joke always gets mixed reviews. Anyways, you guys aren't here for my terrible stand up, you guys are here for some music! And let me tell you, tonight is going to be positively loaded with all the stuff you wanna hear! So lets get this party started!" Sonic flipped a record of 'Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'' by Michael Jackalope onto his turntable. The second the classic song began to blast through the speakers, the crowd was cheering and dancing.

The music was blasting on high as the dance floor became a living mass of dancing bodies of all shapes and sizes. The bar was packed, drinks were plentiful, and everyone was getting roaring drunk. The doors swung open to reveal Silver and Tails in sporty jackets. Silver had his buttoned so that his chest fur flowed out the top. Tails, on the other hand, had his unbuttoned, letting it flow and around his neck was a loose tie. Both of them had a pair of slick sunglasses; Silver's were perched on his forehead while Tails was wearing his on the end of his nose. "So watcha think Silver?" Tails asked as he loosed his tie further. "Think we can score some chicks in here?"

Silver surveyed the ebbing, weaving crowd, "Oh yeah. Blaze and Cosmo are going to be BEGGING for us to take them back! We should hit the bar first and buy some pretty ladies some drinks."

"Ok, but who... Oh! I think I see a cutey over there with my name on that smoking bod."

"So do I! Mmm I always wanted to score a red head! Lets go wingman!"

"You mean Tail-man Silv!" The two sauntered on over to bar, Tails hopping up onto a bar stool, "Hey baby, I couldn't help but notice your ELECTRIFYING appearance. Mind if I get your name and buy you a drink?"

The female turned around, a rabbit with long ears, one of them bent down, a robotic arm, and robotic legs, "Sure thing sugar. Names Bunnie. What's yours handsome?"

"Miles. Miles Prower," replied Tails as he slowly curled his namesakes around Bunnie until suddenly sweeping her off the stool and adding, "But you can call me Tails baby."

"Oh mah stars!" Bunnie gasped, blushing wildly as Tails pulled her close.

"Damn," muttered Silver as he watched Tails make his move, "And who said nerds don't know a thing or two about love? Although, in another universe, this'd be something insane..." After a slight shiver, Silver turned away, "Now, to snare a vixen for myself." He spotted said vixen sitting at the bar, a red haired raccoon attempting to light a cigarette. She gasped as a lit lighter floated over and lit her cigarette. Silver strolled over and the lighter flew back to his hand where he lit his own smoke.

"Thanks." said the girl as she took a drag. "So you have telekinesis?"

Silver came over, floating slightly off the ground, "You guessed it. Its a rare gift."

The raccoon smiled as her drink floated up towards her face where she sipped from a straw. It floated back down to bar as she replied, "Not as rare as you think. So you here alone? I am. My date stood me up."

"Shame on that bastard, leaving such an attractive woman all alone at a bar."

"Well, he's a turtle. Enough said!" Both of them burst into wild laughter, the girl leaning on Silver so she won't fall off the barstool. When they had finally calmed down, she introduced herself, "I'm Miky. What's your name?"

"Silver the Hedgehog. Say, I got an idea. Your boyfriend stood you up, and my wife completely deserted me. What say you, we exact some cold hard revenge, together?" offered Silver as he leaned in closer.

"Ooo I've always wanted to bang a married man. You got yourself a deal." answered Miky as she too leaned closer. "You wanna dance? I love this song."

"Sure." Silver turned to Tails who had Bunnie on his lap. Bunnie was giggling as Tails kissed up her robot arm to her neck. Silver tapped Tails on the shoulder, "Hey, I bagged me a real hottie and we're going to the dance floor."

Tails gave him a thumbs up, "Sweet! Well as you can see, I've found a sparking little circuit board. If we don't join you, we're off... tinkering." With that, Tails and Bunnie began making out and Silver and Miky went onto the dancefloor. Some sort of alien rock n' roll was playing and the crowd was jumping in place with fists in the air and banging their heads in time.

* * *

Meanwhile, Elise was walking along the significantly less busy marketplace, throwing her hands up with a frustrated groan as she finished browsing yet another stall without finding what she was looking for. An alien, a huge cube of green goo, noticed her behavior and said in an echoey, vibrating voice, "Iiiss sooommethinggggg wwwrrroooonnggg? IIII'vvvee sseeennn yyyooouu cccoooommminnngg uuuupppp tttthhee sssttrreeeettt. Aaarrreee yyyooouuu llloookkkiinnnggggg ffoooorrr sssooommmeetthhhiiinnngg iinn ppaaarrticuulaaarrr?"

Elise thought for a moment before answering, "Yes. I'm looking for something to loosen me up. I want to have a lot of fun tonight. But you don't have anything like that here."

The goo cube looked about for any G.U.N. agents before leaning in and whispering, "Cooommmee wwwiiitthhh mmmeeeee." Elise followed the goo cube into a tent behind the booth used for storing excess merchandise. "Tttthhhhiiissss iiissss mmmmyyyyyy ssspppeeccciiiaaallll ssseeeellleeecccttttiiiioooonnnn. Hhhhooowww llloooossseee dddooo yyyoooouuu wwwwaaannnnaaa bbeeeeee?"

Elise grinned evilly, "Very loose. Can you hook it up?"

"Bbbbbiiiitttchhh ppplllleeeaaasssseee." The goo cube rummaged about in a box before handing her a pink spiky fruit. "Tttthhhiiisss wwwiiilllll mmmaaakkkeee yyyyoooouuu llooooossseeerr ttthhaaannn aaaaa hhhhooookkkkeeerrr. Bbbuuuttt lllleeeemmmmeee ttteeeellll yyyyooouuuu aaaaa fffeeeewwww ttthhhhiiiinnnggss-"

"Yeah, yeah, don't let G.U.N. agents catch me. How much is this... whatamahcallit?" interrupted Elise.

"Iiittt'sss a Spilavkhvlr... Ffffiiiifffttteeeyyy Mooobiaaaan rings... Eeeexxxaaaacccttt ccchhhhaannngggee."

"But I have 80. And its all in capsules of 20's!"

Just then, a pink hedgehog peeked her head in, "Excuse me? Are you open? I'm looking for some... merchandise."

The goo replied, "Wwwwhhhaaattt kkkiinnnddd oofff... 'mmeeerrcchhaaanndddiissee'?"

"Some hard pink bubbly if you catch my drift. Somebody told me you have the hardest brewed stuff around." she answered.

Elise whirled around, "Get in line, I was here fir-hey haven't we met before?"

The pink hedgehog thought before exclaiming, "Hey! I think we have met, but I can't remember. I'm Amy, in case you forgot."

"My name is Elise. Say, this guy only takes exact change so if what you want is 20 rings I can get it for you."

"Aaaasss iiittt sssooooo hhhaaaapppeeennnsss, wwwhhhhaaaattt ssheee wwannnttsss iissss 20 rrriinnnggs. Ttttaaakkkeee iiitttt aannnddd gggooo beeeffooorrreee ttthhheee ffffuuuuzzz sssshhhooowwwsss uuuupppp." The two left the tent with their contraband in hand and began to catch up on the way to Wild N' Groovy.

"So Sonic is actually your grandpa?! Eww!" shrieked Elise.

Amy pretended to gag, "I know right!? Total gross out! You can have him girlfriend, he's a free agent!"

"Well, I don't think I really want a relationship yet. But I do want to bang him."

"With that fruit you should be able to. I heard that if you eat the spikes, it'll make you hallucinate. If you drink the juice, it makes you horny and if you eat the fruit itself, you turn into a psycho."

"Hmm that should be useful. Look there's the club. I hope you have a good time!"

"You too. Good luck snaring Sonic." As they entered the club, the two went their separate ways. Silver was still on the dance floor with Miky, the two bumping and grinding to a 'Boom Boom Pow' remix by the Black Eyed Parakeets. Sonic was adjusting one of his speakers that he noticed was giving off a little feedback.

* * *

As he finished, Danny the sparrow ran up to him, "Ok, my girlfriend just went to the restroom. When she comes out, play the song. Look for the most drop dead gorgeous nightingale on the planet. Oh yeah, her name is Leela."

Sonic nodded, "Got it. I'll be ready." As the song neared its end, Sonic spotted Danny's girlfriend come from the restrooms. He stopped the music and picked up his mic off the stand. He stepped in front of his DJ table with an acoustic guitar, "Hey everybody, we're going to take a little break from all this rocking music to slow it down and honor a special someone, Leela. Your boyfriend, Danny, wanted me to play a little number just for you."

The crowd parted in a circle to reveal the couple, Leela looking very shocked as Danny took her waist. Everyone started to slowly dance as Sonic began to strum his guitar and sing, "_To really, love a woman... To understand her, you gotta know her deep inside. Hear every thought, see every dream. N' give her wings when she wants to fly. Then when you find yourself lying helpless, in her arms... You know you really, love a woman..._"

Silver sighed happily, "I love this song, don't you Blaze?"

Miky tipped her head to the side, "Blaze?" Silver snapped back to reality and remembered that his wife had ditched him and he was slow dancing with some girl he had picked up at the bar. He found Miky very attractive but she was no Blaze.

"Sorry, I must be drunker than I thought. Blaze is my wife. I'm so mad and hurt that she just took off and left me. Our marriage has been on the rocks but as of late, I thought it was getting better... Plus... this is our song..."

"Oh, you poor thing. My boyfriend standing me up is one thing; we've only been together for a week at that. But your wife, just leaving you like that? She must be one cold, ungrateful bitch."

Nearby, Tails and Bunnie were also dancing but Tails, like Silver, was feeling sad, "This song always makes me think of Cosmo..."

"Who's that Sugarbum?" asked Bunnie

Tails's cheeks flushed as he dipped his head and muttered, "I don't remember if I told you this, I'm kinda drunk, but... I'm engaged..."

Bunnie gasped, "What!? What are you doing with me then!? Shouldn't you be with your fiance?"

"Well, she took something I said completely wrong and flew the coop. She's really pregnant too so I should have saw it coming. I looked for her all day and couldn't find her. I'm so lonely and sad and scared. What if I can't be a good husband? Or a good father? I mean look at me! Instead of being out there still looking for the love of my life and mother of my child, I'm here getting drunk and dancing with you. No offense though, you're really hot."

"Oh Sugarbum, you sweet, sweet thing you! You'll make a great hubby and daddy! But first things first, you gotta get out there and find your sweetheart."

"But where do I-huh? Something's happening over there..." In the middle of the dance floor Danny the sparrow was getting down on one knee, invoking gasps all around and a high chirp from his girlfriend.

The room grew absolutely silent as Danny said, "Leela, we've been together for 5 years and known each other for 7. But from the first second I saw you walking into my junior math class, I knew that I had to make you mine. So after 2 years of relentless stalking, I asked you out. And now, 5 more years later, in this club, in front of all these people, to our song..." Danny reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful, shining, diamond ring, "Will you marry me?"

Tears were streaming from Leela's eyes as she sobbed, "YES! YES, YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!" Danny slid the ring onto her finger and she tackled him to the floor and kissed him as the whole club cheered and whistled.

Tails wiped away a tear from his own eyes and turned to Bunnie, "Listen, your great and all, but I'm going to take your advice. I have to go find Cosmo. Thanks for a good time Bunnie."

* * *

The rabbot smiled, "It's alright Sugarbum, and thank you too. Now give me a big ol' hug before y'all go!" Bunnie grabbed Tails and gave him a huge hug. At that moment, Cosmo stepped out of the crowd on her way to the bar and gasped.

Tails saw her and gasped too, "Cosmo!?"

Cosmo came over, her shock transforming into rage, "Who the hell this robo-bitch!?"

Bunnie put her hands on her hips, "Robo-Bitch!? Well I nevah!"

"Cosmo I can explain!" cried Tails, as he tried to take his beloved's hands in his.

"NO! I can see exactly what's going on here! I leave for 5 minutes to calm down, and you run off and find another woman!" she yelled as she yanked her hands away.

"You weren't gone for 5 minutes! I know time in fictional worlds is stretched out, but you were NOT gone for 5 minutes!"

"Ya'll were gone all day and ya had this sweet thing here worried sick!" added Bunnie with a nod to emphasize her point.

Cosmo turned on her, "Shut up! He was too busy doing Chaos knows what with you to be worried about me!"

Tails jumped in, "Cosmo, no! I was looking for you all day! In fact, I only met Bunnie about 3 hours ago!

Bunnie backed him up, "Its true. He done told me the whole story. But he knows what he done wrong and he's right sorry for it. But y'all should be saying sorry to 'im for leaving him like a spooked steed leaves his rider in the desert!"

"Well I haven't heard him say he's sorry!" scoffed Cosmo.

Tails cried, "I'm sorry Cosmo! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for saying what I did earlier, I'm sorry for not looking hard enough for you, I'm sorry for picking up Bunnie at the bar, I'm sorry for everything!" Tails grabbed Cosmo's hands, bowed his head, and pleaded with tears in his eyes, "Please Cosmo, will you forgive me? Please!"

At that moment,a male seedrian sauntered over and asked Cosmo, "Hey, babe, is this guy bothering you?"

Tails' headshot up, "BABE?! Who are you calling BABE?!"

"Uh... Tails, meet Butch. We um... dated in high school. I bumped into him when I came to this club..." confessed Cosmo as she blushed and looked away.

"Thats right. I couldn't resist talking to an old sweetheart. So I bought the dame a few drinks and I've been keeping her company. A real joy since you haven't aged a day and are just as sexy as in our high school days Momo." added Butch with a wink towards Cosmo at the last sentence.

"Well, let me tell you something Butch!" shouted Tails as he shoved his face into Butch's, "You may have dated Cosmo when you were teenagers, but shes my FIANCE NOW! So take a hike jerkwad!"

"Who you calling a jerkwad you little pipsqueak!?"

* * *

While all of this was going on, Silver's guilt had gotten to him. He watched the newly engaged couple, then he looked down at his right hand and the gold wedding band on his ring finger. Silver looked back up at Miky who was finishing off her fourth martini. She saw him looking and stared back with a lustful spark in her eye. Silver chuckled nervously, "What?"

"Did you know your head looks like a pot plant?" Miky asked, slurring her words slightly.

Silver sighed, "Yes. I get that a lot. People think its really funny."

"Oh, I don't think its funny." Miky beckoned him closer and when he leaned in she whispered, "I think its hot. Like really, really hot."

"Um... thanks? But Miky, I have something to say..."

"Mm I have something to say to you too."

"Well, uh, I want to go first. Miky, don't get me wrong, you are drop dead gorgeous and I am extremely attracted to you."

"Thats good, cause I'm SUPER attracted to you. Your place or mine?"

"Neither. I'm sorry Miky but I can't defile my marriage for you."

Miky's ears drooped in disappointment, "But, but, I thought we were gonna get revenge on our dates together. You said we would make them pay for ditching us."

"I know what I said. But when I said that, I had already put away a bottle of hard whisky. Now there's two beers, three shots and a martini on top of it. I'm so drunk that I'm thinking clearly. This isn't a good idea Miky. You should call your boyfriend and I'm going to go find my wife. Thanks for hanging with me."

Silver turned to go but Miky grabbed his wrist, "At least give me a chance to say goodbye!" Before Silver could react, Miky pulled him in for a kiss just as Blaze came in the door of the club.

"SILVER?!" Blaze cried as the crowd happened to part and give her a full view of a total stranger making out with her husband.

Silver pulled away, stunned, "Miky, why would you- Oh Chaos Blaze! Listen, I can explain-"

Before Silver could say anymore, the crowd parted once more as the turtle Mobian that Miky was expecting rushed in and punched him straight in the jaw. "I'd love to hear THAT explanation you potheaded bastard!"

"Bedwyr! What do you think you're doing!?" shrieked Miky as she jumped in front of Silver who was on the ground.

"I was just about to ask you the same question MIKY!" shouted back Bedwyr in a fit of rage, "I arrive just on time on our date to come to this act of debauchery!"

"On time!? You're 3 hours late! Silver was keeping me company and doing a better job of it than YOU!"

"A. We agreed on this time remember?!" At this moment an alarm came from Miky's phone, reminding her of said time.

Miky took out her phone and turned off the alarm, scoffing, "Whatever-"

"I'M NOT DONE! B. What the hell are you doing here so early with this piece of shit?!"

Here Blaze cut in, "Hey watch it that piece of shit is my husband!" she turned to Miky with a flame developing in each hand, "As for you, you redheaded WHORE-"

At this move Bedwyr quickly drew his sacred sword Aquarion and shot a quick Aqua-Cannon from it, "BACK OFF- I'M THE ONE DOING THE QUESTIONS HERE!"

Silver shouted, "ENOUGH!" With his telekinesis, he levitated several glasses and bottles from the bar, "If everyone doesn't calm down, I'm going to start doling out concussions!"

Bedwyr suddenly shifted into Cavalier-Form to shatter all the glasses before holding Silver at sword-point. "Excellent technique," interrupted Aquarion, "however the circumstances could be better..."

"Thanks Aquarion, I guess it's my instinct kicking in more than technique" replied Bedwyr before focusing back on Silver, "But if you don't mind, I have something important to tend to..."

Miky clung to Silver and cried, "Beddy, leave Silver alone! Hes just- OW!"

Blaze yanked Miky off by her long red hair, "GET AWAY FROM HIM SLUT!"

Bedwyr responded with two Aqua-Cannons this time, each hitting Silver & Blaze as he called out, "Back off of her! She's mine so Blaze fuck off! And as for you Silver, is this supposed to be revenge for last time? BECAUSE YOU'VE REALLY PISSED ME OFF NOW!"

"What!?" shouted Silver, "No, now that I think about it, that works out pretty good but my drunken actions have also hurt my marriage! I'm trying to hold it together here! I don't need your- HEY!" Silver looked from Blaze to Bedwyr and back again, "Blaze where were you all this time!?"

The purple cat spat back, "Thats none of your business!"

"You were with HIM weren't you!?"

"Silver I-"

"You honestly think I had any interest in HER?!" shouted back Bedwyr, "NO! I just happened to see her when I was on my way in before she rushed over here-"

Miky burst in, "Bedwyr you know this bitch!? Do you two have history!?"

"We only had a one-night stand! Anyways that's why I thought Silver was after you, to get back at me for that!"

"SILVER IS THAT TRUE?!" shouted back Miky, her own flames building up.

Silver threw his hands up in the air and shouted in frustration, "OF COURSE NOT! That... that... koopa wanna-be did bang Blaze but I would never-"

"KOOPA WANNA-BE?!" shouted Bedwyr, "AT LEAST I'M NOT SOME POTHEAD REJ-"

"YOU BASTARD!" screamed Miky at she kicked Silver in the stomach, "HOW DARE YOU USE ME TO GET BACK AT BEDWYR!"

"Miky, you forgive me now?" asked Bedwyr, holding his sword ready for what's to come as Silver, Blaze, Miky, and himself were close to losing all sense.

As if the situation wasn't bad enough, Silver was nearly trampled as Butch, the male seedrian, almost fell on him. Tails shouted, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HITTING ON MY FIANCE!"

Butch pushed Silver aside and growled, "I hate to fight midgets but now you're gonna get it hairball!"

"Bring it you musclebound moron!"

Blaze rushed to Silver's side, "Silver are you-"

* * *

"GET OFF ME!" yelled Silver, rejecting Blaze's help, "I am SICK AND TIRED of being pushed around, used, and taken for granted!" Blaze backed up as Silver began to radiate a dark aura unlike his standard one. He levitated above the floor, His quills shining and turning coal black. "SOMEBODY'S GONNA FUCKING DIE TONIGHT! AND I'M GONNA START WITH YOU!" Silver loosed an array of black psychic knives at Bedwyr as the crowd began to panic and scramble about.

Bedwyr, still in Cavalier-Form, dodged each knife with ease before slamming Silver down to the floor, "Silver now you're going too far! Stop!"

"NO, I'M FINALLY GOING TO GET BACK AT EVERYONE WHO'S EVER PUT ME DOWN, SO WHY NOT START WITH YOU?!"

Sonic, finally taking his headphones off for a break, saw the commotion, abandoned his table, and rushed over, "Silver!? What are you trying to do!? Start a riot?!"

At this point G.U.N. responded in the form of a battalion of troops led by Shadow appeared yelling into a bullhorn, "SILVER WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?! CALM THE FUCK DOWN OR I WILL PUT YOU BACK IN YOUR PLACE!"

"PUT ME IN MY PLACE?! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAS ME IN THIS MOOD! BEFORE I COULD TAKE IT SINCE ONLY YOU GUYS TREATED ME LIKE THE NEW GUY, BUT BY NOW I DESERVE SOME RESPECT! BUT WHAT DO I GET INSTEAD?! A TURTLE THAT BANGS MY WIFE, A WIFE THAT COMPLETELY DISREGARDS MY EMOTIONS WITH HER COLD ATTITUDE BY THE WAY! AND NOW A RANDOM RACCOON IS GETTING ON MY CASE AS WELL! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!" As Silver spoke, all loose objects in the room lifted and swirled around him. "I AM DONE WITH THIS JACKED UP LIFE, FAMILY, AND WORLD!" With that, the objects began to fly about the room, striking bystanders and G.U.N agents. Fights were breaking out as everyone was trying to get through the doors at the same time.

Shadow and his platoon dove for cover behind the bar along with Sonic, Tails, Cosmo, Blaze, Bedwyr, and Miky. Shadow slammed his fist on the ground, "Does somebody want to tell me what the HELL is going on here!? Why is Silver going on a rampage?!"

"Not to mention starting a sizable riot!" added Tails as he hazarded a peek over the bar-top to find Butch franticly searching in the mess for him.

Sonic shrugged, "I have no fricking idea! He's snapped and gone off the deep end into Dark form. I didn't even know he could do that!"

"Well it only makes sense with this crazy family I suppose, but I'm wanting to know WHY! FORGET IT!" shouted Shadow as he pulled out his two black,custom-engraved Colts that Sonic gave him for Christmas, "SHOOT FIRST AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER! FIRE AT WILL MEN!"

Sonic couldn't help but stop and ask, "Dad, you actually kept those?" but his question was drowned out by the deafening noise of gunfire as Shadow and the G.U.N. troops unloaded hundreds of rounds at Silver.

Dark Silver scoffed as he stopped every round with his telekinesis, "BITCHES PLEASE! IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO!?" With a snap of his fingers, all of them turned and shot back at the bar, crippling Shadow's mini-army of troops in the blink of an eye.

"HOLY CRAP!" shouted Tails, "What are we going to do?"

"FOUND YOU PUNK!" shouted Butch as he heard Tails and stomped towards him.

"Aw shit. Perfect timing..."

"Friend of yours?" asked Sonic sarcastically.

"Ex-boyfriend of Cosmo..." replied Tails with a glare at his fiance.

"Ouch... Well I got your ba-"

Tails suddenly stood up in the chaos, "Thanks Sonic, but it's about time I stood for what's rightfully mine."

"Well at least take this," added Shadow as he tossed to Tails a standard issue G.U.N. pistol. "That inbred is three times your size, you'll need it. No way I'm going to lose a new member of the family before they even join."

"Family?!" called out Miky & Bedwyr, both in shock and confusion.

"It's a long story," answered Sonic with a weary sigh.

"Too long and complicated..." added Cosmo before turning to Tails and saying apologetically, "Anyways, please come back in one piece Tails... I'm sorry about jumping too soon to conclusions and doing that to you..."

"I will Cosmo; I won't abandon you for it. Now let me go teach this asshole a lesson!" With that, the kitsune jumped over the bar and into the infernal chaos.

"Settling old grudges and making up is all fine and dandy, but what about Silver?" asked Blaze, "He's going on a rampage and he needs to be stopped!"

"Thanks for volunteering, good luck with that!" replied Shadow, "I hope you have a plan toots because your hubby is pretty much unstoppable!"

Sonic interrupted, "Wait! Maybe he's not! What makes him invincible is his hate and anger. If we can stop that, we stop him."

"But how are we supposed to do that?" wondered Miky, "What if we all apologized?"

Shadow face-palmed, "How drunk are you!? A little apology won't fix this! Whose bimbo are you again? You don't look familiar."

"Hey back off Shadow!" shouted out Bedwyr frustrated, "A. She's MINE and she may be clueless but only I can call her a bimbo! And B. Where's Amy? Isn't she normally with you guys?"

"WAIT!" shouted out Sonic as he quickly bolted to the door, "Yo guys, I'm going to find Amy! If anybody can snap Silver out of it, it'd probably be her!"

Shadow reloaded his pistols, "Bedwyr, we need to get these people out of here before anyone else gets hurt; you're with me. Ladies, stay here and out of range." Shadow and Bedwyr dashed out and began to distract Silver so the rioting crowd could have a chance at escape.

"Oh, I feel so useless!" fretted Cosmo as she kicked the bar.

Blaze put a hand on her shoulder, "Take it easy, did you forget that you're pregnant?"

Miky gasped, "You're pregnant?!"

"Yes" replied Cosmo with a sigh and a rub of her swollen belly, "Very much so, and this stress isn't helping that one bit..."

"How about we talk out what happened while the men are away fighting it out? They won't bother with it anyways so we might as well figure this out..." recommended Blaze.

* * *

The club was consumed by chaos as people ran in circles screaming, objects rocketed around at high speeds, and Shadow and Bedwyr were right in the thick of it. "So did you exactly have a plan or we supposed to throw ourselves in front of people?" snapped Bedwyr as he deflected a cocktail glass with Aquarion.

"Well, I was just going to shoot the bastard in the head and put him out of his misery, but that is obviously out of the question. So here's my new plan. I'll distract him from the front and you sneak up on him from behind. Got it?" ordered Shadow as he jumped in front of Dark Silver. "Hey pothead!"

"YOU CALL ME POTHEAD AGAIN AND I'LL BURN YOU TO ASHES!" shouted Dark SIlver as he used his telekinesis to use his lighter from earlier to set debris on fire and throw it at Shadow. With a quick Chaos Control Shadow easily dodged the attack, but now the club was beginning to erupt into a raging inferno.

"Damn! Now what?"

"I got this!" shouted Bedwyr as he raised Aquarion towards the flames, "Soul-Surge: Aqua Cannon!" At once a stream of pressurized water erupted from the blade, slowly putting out the fire.

"As a crazy scientist once said: BURN!" Dark Silver manipulated the surrounding flames into a flamethrower, colliding with the Aqua-Cannon in a deadlock.

"Hey Shadow, here's your distraction, now go!"

"Fine, Chaos... Boost!" Shadow charged himself with a shining red aura as he quickly landed a series of harsh Homing Attacks and Chaos Attack chains before backing up and launching a barrage of Chaos Spears. Before the Chaos Spears could make their impact however, Dark Silver quickly froze them, filled them with his own energy, and threw them back, knocking Shadow into the wall in a puff of smoke.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tails was facing off against Butch. He had the pistol behind his back as he growled, "I'll give you one chance to walk away and never talk to my fiance again Butch."

The male Seedrian barked, "Cosmo can talk to whoever she feels like! In fact, she invited me to the wedding!"

"SHE DID WHAT!?"

"Thats right! But you know something? Maybe it'll be me up there with her instead of you! I'll win her heart back by consoling her after the tragic death of her would-be husband!"

Tails pulled out the pistol, "THE HELL YOU WILL! IF YOU WANT TO MURDER ME, YOU SURE AS HELL ARE GONNA DIE TRYING!" Tails loosed three shots, all of which struck Butch's chest but did no damage. "What!? How did you-!?

Butch laughed, "Don't you know anything about seedrians? Us males have a tough bark for skin that a puny pistol will never penetrate!" He pulled out a sawed off shotgun from under his coat, "However, some buckshot to the chest will tear a soft squishy Mobian in half!" Butch fired, sending dozens of deadly projectiles shooting at Tails.

He took to the air just in time to avoid it, "Shit, that was close! No more screwing around!" Butch aimed the shotgun up and fired again. Tails flew to the side out of the way and the shot hit the disco ball hanging from the ceiling, breaking several mirrors on its surface and loosening it from its anchor.

Tails smiled, "Butch maybe bullet proof, but everything can be crushed. Its just simple physics."

Butch opened fire again, "Taste it, you little pest!"

Tails took aim with his pistol, "Consider yourself uninvited to the wedding Butch!" With one shot, Tails hit the weakened anchor, causing the disco ball to come crashing down on top of Butch, crushing and killing him. Tails landed next to the fallen ball, "Gravity's a bitch."

"Damn now THAT I have to admit was badass..." muttered Shadow, slowly walking over to Tails, "Congratulations, nerds everywhere are cheering. Now let's find the girls and go; hopefully Bedwyr can hold off Silver... Where the hell is my faker son of mine anyways?" With that they ran back to the bar to check on the girls and get out as the other battle was reaching its climax.

* * *

"Bedwyr we must find a more favorable location to fight, the dry air and fire is weakening your power!" warned Aquarion as the flames were consuming the club, turning it into a literal hell hole draining Bedwyr by the second.

"Hm... I got this," replied Bedwyr with an evil grin, "HEY POTHEAD!"

Before Dark Silver could finish Shadow off he whirled around in a fury of telekinetic attacks, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"

"SO WHAT?! CAN'T HELP IT IF YOU'RE HEAD IS A BIG WEED, MAYBE THAT'S WHY BLAZE CAME TO ME THAT ONE NIGHT!" taunted Bedwyr while struggling to parry and evade every attack.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT BLAZE LIKE THAT!" growled Dark Silver as his attacks grew more wild and spontaneous.

"SHE WAS A HELL OF A TEASE YOU KNOW! SHE'S SOME HOT STUFF WITH THAT BODY OF HERS!" continued to taunt Bedwyr, forcing a laugh despite being scratched up by various shards of glass and burned by flaming debris.

"I'M WARNING YOU!" screeched Dark Silver.

"HAVE YOU EVEN TAPPED THAT PUSSY?!" replied Bedwyr, getting damaged left and right as he got into Silver's face and whispered, "Or are you her pussy you weak bastard?"

Dark Silver hit his limit as he effectively tore the club from its foundation with everyone else falling out and scattering, "THAT'S IT! METEOR... SMASH!" The wreckage of the club was swiftly distorted into a large sphere, launching Bedwyr far out into the sea of Green Hill. "HA! IS THAT ALL THAT YOU GOT?!"

"... Checkmate..." muttered Bedwyr as he shot out of the water, "Ready Aquarion?!"

"At your command Sir Bedwyr!"

"ULTIMATE SOUL-SURGE: MISTY TSUNAMI!" With the last strains of Bedwyr's power, the sea of Green Hill suddenly rose in one gigantic tidal wave, engulfing Dark Silver and the surrounding area in a seemingly endless flood. Dark Silver tried to manipulate the water to his advantage, but the last attack had drained him as he was thrown like a ragdoll into the earth. Soon after Bedwyr also collapsed from exhaustion, falling into the pit where that section of the sea had once been.

Miky rushed to his side with Tails, Cosmo, and Blaze nearby, "BEDWYR! Are you alright!?"

Tails gave Bedwyr a quick look over, "He's real beat up but only unconscious. He'll be ok if we get him to the hospital."

Blaze covered her face with her hands, "Oh Chaos, I can't help but feel responsible! If I hadn't left Silver at the market, this would have never happened!"

* * *

"You're right..." came a weak voice. Everyone gasped and turned to see Silver, his quills flickering between their normal color and Dark form, "If you hadn't have been a bitch and left me, none of this would have happened! I wouldn't have to prove that I'm a man to you, I wouldn't have earn some goddamn respect from you!"

"Please, Silver, I'm sorry! You have to consider the stress I've been under too." pleaded Blaze.

"STRESS!?" Silver's quills began to spark and flash dark energy, "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT STRESS! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO FATHERED A CHILD WITH THEIR AUNT! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT NO ONE RESPECTS! SO DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT STRESS!"

Silver raised his hand to backhand Blaze who stood there quivering and whimpering, "Silver, please!"

Suddenly a high shrill voice rang out, "Daddy?!"

"Amy stay out of this!" shouted Silver in response without looking.

Amy ran over and stood in front of Blaze, "Daddy, don't! This isn't like you!"

"Move! I'm going to give this bitch what she deserves!"

"No! I may not get along with Blaze but she doesn't deserve this! Please Daddy, you said so yourself, lots of things are changing. We have be united as a family to get through!" begged Amy as she shook uncontrollably out of fear.

Silver growled, "First my wife won't listen to me and treats me like crap and now my daughter disobeys me!? Fine! You'll get what you deserve too!" Silver raised his hand again to slap Amy out of the way but a sudden gust of wind knocked Silver to the ground, his own cheek throbbing instead.

"You stupid idiot." mumbled Sonic as he lowered his hand. He knelt so as to look Silver in the face, "Silver you listen and you listen good. Take a second, calm the hell down, and realize what you're doing! You almost slapped your own daughter, who you spoil rotten and love more than life itself, in the face! Now, I'm not the best dad but I'm not that bad."

Silver stood and looked around in a daze, as if he just woken up, "Wha-what happened?"

Shadow stomped over after evacuating everybody else safely and grabbed him by the neck, "What happened!? What happened!? You almost killed us all! I ought to arrest you or just shoot you where you stand!"

Before Shadow could do any more, Sonic stepped over and took Silver out of his grasp, "Back off, I got this. Anyways, Silver, I suggest you think about what you did back at the hotel while the rest of us here make sure everybody is okay, got it? Come back when you've calmed down." With a nod of the head, Silver slowly walked away before Sonic turned around cheerfully and added, "So guys, let's go help these people out! Um, we should really get Bedwyr to the hospital too."

"What... just happened?" whispered Shadow, "Did Sonic just act like a calm-headed, responsible adult AND parent?"

"I believe so..." added Tails, "I can't remember the last time he was like that..."

By now Sonic had lifted up Bedwyr, "What you guys waiting for, let's go! Guys?"

"Here," sighed Miky as she used her telekinesis to force Tails and Shadow to walk.

* * *

A few hours later, after the gang got Bedwyr to the hospital and did what they could for the traumatized crowd that had survived Silver's tantrum, they all were at another club, Get Funky With It. Sonic was assisting the resident DJ throw down a jumping beat that had the club-goers dancing wildly. Meanwhile, Shadow, Silver, Blaze, Amy, Bedwyr, Miky, Tails, and Cosmo were at the bar, drinking off the night's horrific start.

Cosmo was sipping a vitamin water and complained, "Chaos, I could use a drink!"

"You have one in your hand." pointed out Tails as he took a swig of bottled beer.

"No, no. A _drink_! Like a martini or cocktail or something other than this water."

"You can't Cosmo. Remember the baby?"

"Grrr... Everyone gets to get drunk except me. I'm going to be the only one who remembers this terrible night..."

Miky was fussing over Bedwyr's many wounds, "Oh Beddy, look at you! Your tore up from the floor up!

"It's fine..." replied Bedwyr for the millionth time, "but it's sweet that you care..."

"Of course I care! Yeah, I got a little drunk and tried to get with Silver, but I still care."

"Why did you do that anyways? It's still bugging me to tell you the truth..."

"Well... I guess the drinking had something to do it but I thought you stood me up so I was angry on top of that. Plus, after hearing Silver's story, I felt bad for him and wanted to show him a good time so he could forget." explained Miky as she swallowed a shot, "Whoo! The adrenaline from that near-death experience burned off all the alcohol in my system, now I gotta get drunk all over again."

"Your morals are fine, but maybe you should work on how you show it..." sighed Bedwyr before seeing that Miky drank his shot, "Hey!"

She shrugged, "Sorry. Watch this." Miky looked a little ways down the bar where Shadow was sitting. He had a row of full shot glasses in front of him and the black hedgehog was slowly going through them. Miky squinted in concentration and the last glass in the row and began to scoot towards her.

Shadow grabbed it and glared at her, "Try that again and I will invent some law to arrest you for breaking."

Bedwyr quickly stood up and pulled Miky aside while telling Shadow, "Oh relax! Besides Miky, he tries to do that and you could just come to Camelot with me; he's got no jurisdiction there!"

Shadow downed a shot in one gulp, "AH! I don't give a shit! I'll hunt both your asses down!

"Ok great grandpa, maybe you should lay off..." interrupted Amy, "We wouldn't want another enraged hedgehog..."

"Wait, GREAT GRANDPA?!" called out Miky and Bedwyr, "Are all of you related?"

* * *

"You know what, I'm outta here, you guys are killing my buzz," stated Shadow as he gathered up his remaining shots and moved towards a table by himself. As he walked away, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, dropped his shots, and rushed to a nearby table with an unknown being in a cloak just about to leave, "HOLD UP! I recognize that cloak and smell- ALEENA!" The being turned slightly before taking off in a run out the door. Shadow took off after it, calling out again, "ALEENA!" He burst out of the club and looked around wildly before spotting the being going down an alley. Shadow quickly followed and ran into his target coming out of the dead-end. "Aleena! It's me, Shadow!"

The being removed its hood, revealing a pretty faced purple hedgehog, "Dowey? Oh my Chaos! I didn't recognize you! You look so much like Sonic! Or should I say, he looks just like you. Oh Dowey, its been so long!"

Shadow chuckled, "It's been even longer since you've called me that, Lele."

Aleena began to giggle uncontrollably, "Oh, Dowey, you always were a card! So what have you been up to?"

"I work for G.U.N. My official title is Lieutenant Special Agent Shadow T. Hedgehog," bragged Shadow as he leaned against the wall.

"Ooo I love a male in a uniform." replied Aleena as she slowly batted her eyelashes at him.

Shadow moved in closer, "Would you like to see it? Its back at my hotel room."

"Tsk, tsk. You're asking me back to your room and you haven't even bought me a drink. Have you forgotten LEFUKEMESANU etiquette?"

"Well it has been 21 years."

"OH MY CHAOS... MOM?!" called out Sonic as he ran into the alleyway to see what had Shadow so worked up.

"Dammit Sonic..." muttered Shadow as Sonic bolted over to Aleena, almost knocking all of them over.

Aleena yanked her hood back down over her face, "Sonic, dearest, you aren't supposed to see me! Eggman hasn't been destroyed yet!"

"Eh, no sweat, he's pretty much my cousin now so that's not really a problem... Please Mom, don't go! Stay and hang out for awhile. Please, please please!" begged Sonic as he tugged on Aleena's cloak like a small child.

"Damn Sonic," replied Shadow as he pulled him back, "Relax and act your age; I was about to bring Aleena with us for another drink, correct Lele?"

"Oh gag me... Act my age huh? Let's see, I'm like what? 21? TIME TO GET DRUNK GUYS!"

"Well not too drunk," cautioned Aleena, "I don't want to end up in bed with some stranger." At this last part, she winked at Shadow who couldn't help but blush.

"Gross. Come on Mom! There's been a few additions to the family and I want to introduce you."

The three re-entered the club and went back to the bar. Tails turned around as they approached and grinned drunkenly, "Oh hey Ms. H! I wasn't supposed to see you until next week!"

Cosmo elbowed him in the ribs, "Tails! Shush!"

"What do you mean you weren't supposed to see her till next week? What's going on?!" exclaimed Sonic, "Mom, what's he talking about?"

Aleena laughed nervously, "Um, I have no idea! Is that one of your little friends? He looks really drunk so no one should really pay attention to what he says."

Tails jumped off the bar stool with his sixth bottle of beer in his hand and slurred, "No, no you know what I'm talking about! You can't stalk my buddy _ALL _the time so you have _ME_ tell ya what he's been up to!" He turned to Sonic and hugged him, "Your mama loves ya man! And I love ya too!"

Cosmo face-palmed and groaned, "Oh, Tails. You talk way too much when you're drunk!"

"Mom, is that true?" asked Sonic, his voice breaking.

Aleena sighed, "Yes. Its quite hard to follow three people at once, especially you Sonic, dear. So I asked your best friend to keep tabs on you for me."

"Oh my Chaos, that's just... just fabulous! My best friend and mother meetin' up for Sunday brunch behind my back! Thats just frellin' awesome!" yelled Sonic sarcastically, "Aw Chaos I need a freaking drink. Gimme that!" Before Tails could drink his beer, Sonic snatched it and began to chug it.

"That's the spirit son!" encouraged Shadow as he took Aleena by the waist and began to lead her away, "Now we should catch up. Do you still drink hard whisky with a vodka twist?"

"I can't remember the last time I've had one of those... Probably since the last time I saw you Dowey!"

"WHAT?! BAR-GUY, GET THIS FINE WOMAN A BOTTLE OF HARD WHISKEY WITH VODKA - AND LET IT BE THE FINEST!" called out Shadow to the bartender, slamming onto the counter a few 100 Ring canisters.

* * *

At the other end of the bar, Blaze had just finished explaining the crazy events that had led to the gang finding out that they were all related in some convoluted way to Bedwyr and Miky.

"Whoa." said Miky as she downed a martini, "I'm halfway wasted and that still sounds like some crazy made-up story off a fiction website.

"I know right?!" added Bedwyr as he tried to keep a calm attitude but was slipping, "My gosh, if it was, I wonder what's next? Some crazy stalker scene?"

"A stalker about to rape someone more like..." added Blaze ominously, yet keeping to herself.

* * *

Elise entered the club at that moment mumbling to herself, "Ok, next I need to find Sonic." She spotted her prey at the very end of the bar nursing a gin and tonic with a shot of blue raspberry. With an evil grin on her face, Elise walked up to the bar and ordered the same drink. She then broke open the pink alien fruit she had bought in the market and poured the juice in the drink. "Perfect!"

"How could my best pal do that to me? He knows how much I miss Mom sometimes and yet, he goes behind my back to see and tell her about me?! Well he can tell her that I'm hurt and betrayed!" ranted Sonic as his finished off his drink and put his head down on the bar.

"Hey, hot stuff." said a seductive female voice behind him, "You look like you need another drink."

Without lifting his head Sonic replied, "Yeah. But I shouldn't."

"Thats a shame, I already bought it for you. Gin and tonic with a shot of blue raspberry?"

"Well if you already bought it, I shouldn't let it go to waste..."

"Exactly. Here." Sonic looked up to see a glass slide in front of him. He took it and polished it off with a few quick chugs.

"Thanks. Say, do I know- WAH!" As he spoke Sonic turned to see who he had been talking to and fell off the bar stool from a sudden attack of dizziness.

"Oh my gosh! Are you ok?" the female asked as she helped Sonic to his feet. Almost impulsively, Sonic grabbed the woman and kissed her deeply and passionately.

He pulled away just as quickly, "I'm sorry! I don't what's come over me but I have the sudden urge to-to-to-"

The girl pressed him close, kissed him back, and replied, "Like you want to throw me on a bed and make me scream your name at the top of my lungs? Like you want to kiss every inch of me? Like you want to do things you would never dream of doing with someone?"

"Y-y-yeah. Have we been drinking the same flavor of krazy Kool-Aid?" stammered Sonic as he felt a primitive need to get this girl alone and tear her clothes off rise up and begin to take over his thoughts.

She giggled like she knew a dirty secret, "You could say that I suppose. So you do you have a place we can be... alone?"

"I have a hotel room not too far from here."

"Great let's go!" With that she started to pull him towards the exit but on the way they passed the others.

"Hey where ya goin Sonic?" called out Shadow, "And who's the pale bimbo you got with ya? Is she bothering you because I can take care of that..."

Sonic replied, "Its fine Shadow. This is... um.. is..." Sonic turned to his escort, "Did you tell me your name?"

"My name is Elise." she answered as she looped her arm around Sonic's, pulling him slightly towards the door, "Aren't you going to show me your room Sonic?"

"See Shadow!? I told you Sonic was going get some!" cried Tails as he took a swig of beer, "Go get 'er man!"

Sonic winked, "You know it little bro!" With that, he gave Elise's butt a smack before recoiling at his own gesture, "Oh my Chaos something is wrong me!"

Elise smiled evilly, "Everything. But is that really a bad thing? Is it bad to be bad? Is it bad to be naughty?"

"I guess not. Tonight is all about the sort of thing isn't it?" asked Sonic before wildly making out with Elise.

Shadow watched the spectacle and thought out loud, "Wait a minute. Something doesn't seem right here. Its almost like Sonic-"

"What was that Dowey?" cooed Aleena as she leaned against Shadow and stared at him lustfully.

"Nothing Lele. Just a random thought..." muttered Shadow before standing up, slamming his empty bottle on the table and adding, "Well, we can't let him have all the fun, right?"

Aleena pressed herself close, "I thought you'd never ask!"

* * *

"Hold up babe, give me a sec. Boys, gather round!" Tails, Silver (who had calmed down by now), and Bedwyr came over to hear what he had to say, "Gentlemen, this may be because I am extremely drunk but I propose- Bedwyr what are you doing here!? You not one of my boys!"

As Bedwyr started to turn away, Silver shouted, "Oh relax Shadow; let'm join! We cool now bro?"

"Totally man, sorry for basically drowning you bro!" called back Bedwyr as Silver and he bro-hugged it out.

"Sorry for throwing a katamari at you too bro; now what's up grand-bro?"

Shadow groaned, "I must super wasted but fine you can join in too Bedwyr. As I was saying, I propose a contest. The goal: To get your fine bitch to moan louder than that slut Elise!"

"Now we're talking!" shouted Tails, high-fiving both Silver and Bedwyr.

"AHEM! You forgetting someone!?" yelled Sonic, now fully under the influence of the Spilavkhvlr, "So you guys actually think you can get your women to moan louder than this fine piece of ass?! Bros, they don't call be BIG BLUE for nothing!"

"Oh Sonic... Poor poor Sonic..." muttered Shadow, "Are you forgetting who's the Ultimate Lifeform? Ultimate in ANY and EVERY way?"

"Hey!" interrupted Silver, "Don't deny the power of psychokinesis for sex!"

"So what?!" retorted Bedwyr, "My babe has psycho-whatevers and I have an epic SWORD to boot!"

"Do you mean me sire?!" asked Aquarion, wide-eyed in over-joyed shock.

"No no, it's a double entendre see?"

"Oh yes, the viewers must realize that not ALL this story is smut... They must realize that these authors are capable of more, just that they're deciding to write this blasphemous tale..."

"Did you say Tail?!" shouted Tails, "Because my tails can work wonders on sexy little flowers..."

"Point... proven?"

Shadow grabbed Aleena by the waist, "Enough with the dirty jokes! Time to put your reproductive organs where your womens' mouths are!

"Don't you mean their c-" started Silver before being cut off with a loud "NO!" by everybody in the bar.

"Silver we are NOT going that far and by Chaos if you do we will roll you into a large piece of paper like that black guy in that one 'scary' movie and smoke you!" scolded Shadow, "Anyways, let us go back to the hotel, and get this contest underway!"

* * *

At the hotel the couples: Shadow & Aleena, Tails & Cosmo, Bedwyr & Miky, Silver & Blaze, and Sonic & Elise, each boldly walked into their own private rooms. It wasn't long before the air was filled with the rising shrieks of the girls and the squeaks of the springs in the beds being pushed to their limit. At first this seemed like a harmless bet, that is until the guys started putting their abilites to 'unique' uses. At this point, things went up a notch as the noise level became deafening. Other people began to peek their heads out of their doors, irritated at the disruption, yet curious as to what was going on. Several times room service knocked on the doors to tell the couples to quiet down to no avail.

By time the sun began to rise, Silver and Blaze, Bedwyr and Miky, and Tails and Cosmo had dropped from the contest due to sheer exhaustion. This left only Shadow and Aleena and Sonic and Elise. However, as soon as the drunken craze of the hedgehogs was about to wear off, a new high-pitched cry could be heard from another room now that the other three pairs of voices had ceased. This one was louder than Aleena and Elise combined, and still increasing in volume. "Oh Chaos, who hell is that!?" exclaimed Shadow, struggling for breath.

"Who cares? We can beat them right Dowey!?" replied Aleena as she gave Shadow an encouraging kiss.

The black hedgehog shook his head as he collapsed, "Are you crazy!? I'm done. I can't go on. They win fair and square, whoever the hell they are!"

At the same time, Elise was fuming, "How dare someone try to outdo us!? Come on Sonic let's kick it up a notch!"

"NO! I can't take anymore! I can't feel my legs Elise! Please, lets just call it quits! Its not like there's a prize or anything!" cried Sonic before going wide-eyed and bolting out of bed, "Wait... Elise... Elise... OH MY CHAOS! You're that one chick from Soleanna!"

"I guess that fruit wore off..."

"Fruit!? You drugged me?! You fricking drugged me!?"

"Uh... That's besides the point," stuttered Elise as she pressed herself to Sonic, "Come on, you know you want this Sonic; don't you remember '06? We had such a wild night..."

"NO WE DIDN'T! I remember what happened in '06, and that's NOT it!"

The once princess loomed angrily over the horrified hedgehog, "Thats exactly what happened! Don't deny it! I've been looking for you for 7 YEARS!"

"REALLY?! You're worse than Amy used to be! I'm out of here!" Sonic tried to bolt from the room but he only got halfway out the door before Elise grabbed him by the tails and yanked him back in. "HEEELLLL-" The door slammed shut and the sound of a roll of duct tape was heard.

While all this was going on, the high-pitch cry had reached an unholy level and drew the losing couples, minus Sonic and Elise, out of their rooms. "Who is in there?!" called Blaze while Shadow pounded on the door with no answer.

Meanwhile another unholy shout could be heard from Sonic's room: "I-WILL-NOT-LOSE-THIS-BET-AFTER-DRUGGING-SONIC-WIT H-Spilavkhvlr!"

Tails face-palmed, "Now I know why the name Elise sounds so familiar! She's been after Sonic for years!"

"And we just let her have him!" added Aleena, "Sonic!"

"You leave my dad alone you crazy bitch!" yelled Silver as he rushed to the door and tried to break it open but found himself still too drained, "Grandpa! You're a GUN agent and his dad! Do something!"

"STAND BACK!" raged Shadow, his Shadow-Rifle already locked and loaded. In one swift shot the door was shattered into splinters, "FREEZ... Oh my..." Everyone's jaw dropped as they saw Sonic strapped down to a chair with Elise glaring at them all with the horror of a succubus, literally hissing as Shadow raised his gun. "Now you have two options here you crazy, slutty psychopath. Either you come along peacefully and serve most to all of your life on GUN's Prison Island, or I'll shoot you in the fucking face and return you to wherever your fake "Solaris" deity comes from!"

"Um dad," interrupted Sonic shyly.

"SON CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A BADASS BUST?!"

"Yeah, but, um... She got away..."

Surely enough, Elise had jumped out the window into a hovercraft, flying out of sight in the matter of seconds screeching, "I'LL FIND YOU AGAIN SONIC! EVEN IF IT TAKES ME ANOTHER 7 YEARS!"

* * *

"Maybe it's time you learn to shoot a gun Sonic..." sighed Shadow as he lowered his rifle.

"It's not that Dad; if I wanted to attack I could've just used a simple boost. I just didn't want to hurt a weak human girl..."

"That son was NOT a weak human girl; THAT was a Succubus! Didn't you hear the description?"

"Whatever! I'll do whatever the heck you want, within reason that is, if you un-tape me from this chair!" retorted Sonic as he hopped about in the chair.

Bedwyr pulled out Aquarion, "I got this."

The sacred sword scoffed as his blade sliced through the tape, "I swear Prince Bedwyr! You utilize me for everything BUT my intended use as your blade to protect and rule Camelot!"

Miky's ears twitched with curiosity, "Why do you keep talking about Camelot? Isn't that a made-up place in story-books?"

"Oh man..." muttered Sonic while peeling off uncomfortably the remaining pieces of tape, "How many times must I explain? Camelot is a REAL place, hidden within the Emerald Forest in fact."

"So... You really are a Prince?!"

"Yeah: Sir Bedwyr the Second, Knight of the Sea and Prince of Camelot." recited Bedwyr.

"Well at least he said his full title willingly this time..." muttered Aquarion before adding, "And I be Aquarion, his trusty Sacred Sword crafted with the mystic force of the Misty Lake and Nimue herself."

Miky crossed her arms, "You're joking right? 'Ha ha, lets all play a little joke on Miky cause she's totally hammered ha ha!' That's what this is right?"

"Only because I want a change of pace..." muttered Sonic, "CHAOS CONTROL!"

In a flash Sonic took Shadow's Chaos Emerald and strained himself into warping Bedwyr, Miky, and himself to the top of Camelot Castle. At its peak they saw the peaceful town and its merry citizens moving about, some even acknowledging the presence of the Knight of the Wind and Prince of Camelot in a loud cheer. In the distance the majestic Misty Lake and copious trees of the Deep Forest was visible, and with a little help of telekinesis, Miky propelled herself to faintly see the Emerald Forest at the horizon. "Oh my gosh!" she shrieked as she took in the scene.

"Yes, its wonderful and amazing. Lets go, you're frightening the townsfolk Miky," pointed out Sonic as a few people screamed and pointed. "Guess the next speech Bedwyr, or Aquarion for that matter, will have to do is explaining psychokinesis... Anyways... CHAOS... Control..."  
The three appeared in midair in the hotel hallway and crashed into a heap.

"Your accuracy leaves something to be desired," critiqued Shadow while collapsed on the floor where Sonic stood.

"Give me a break! I pulled it off didn't I? So throw me a bone here!" groaned Sonic as he sat down.

"Believe me now Miky?" asked Bedwyr nonchalantly.

Miky jumped up and squealed, "Oh my goodness! I can't believe that Camelot is real! And you're the Prince of Camelot?! I never would have seen THAT coming! Thats so cool! But why didn't you tell me when we first met?"

"... Because I just wanted someone to accept me for who I am as an individual, not just for some fancy title or position..."

"Oh, Beddy! I'll always see you as the awesomest guy ever! Prince or not! But that does explain the talking sword come to think of it." replied Miky as she hugged Bedwyr tightly.

"Aw, thanks Miky... Anyways, where do you come from?"

Everyone else muttered the same question as Miky looked around shyly, "Ummm... Well, this is going to sound crazy but, I'm-"

**DON'T YOU ****DARE!**** YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT MISSY! BESIDES, YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ANYWAYS!**

**... Anyways...**

* * *

At that second, Amy opened the door to her room, quills messy, clothes wrinkled with some unidentifiable stains, "Huh? Hey, any of you hear two omniscient voices? Chaos? Tikal? Is that you?"

**Shhh!**

"Um... Anyways, what is everybody doing here? Geez Sonic, you look like you just got raped!"

"Don't remind me." the blue blur snapped.

"Wait a minute! I wish to speak!" declared Cosmo. jumping in front of everyone.

Tails gave her a puzzled look, "There was nothing stopping you before!"

"That doesn't matter! What I want to say, or rather ask, is this: Was that you making so much noise Amy?"

"Well isn't it obvious? I was joining as part of the competition! I overheard you guys while at the bar."

"A. Why did you drink?!" scolded Blaze.

"And B. WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!" added Silver.

"You mean because he fucked our daughter or because he put you ALL to shame?"

"BOTH! So who is he!?"

"WHOA DADDY!" Amy quickly replied while blushing and adding cheerfully, "Well... I couldn't find anybody cute enough... SO I FLEW SOLO!"

As everyone's jaws dropped, the guys collapsed on the floor in shame as the women stampeded up to Amy and asked a barrage of questions. "What did you DO?!" questioned Blaze, wide-eyed.

"What kind of freaky alien toy did you use?!" added Cosmo.

"Better yet, what technique?" silently added Aleena, slightly shocked herself.

Miky scoffed, "Screw all of that! Just tell us where you got it!"

Meanwhile the guys had all huddled up in a corner with each of their heads hanging in shame. "How... I thought I was the Ultimate?" doubted Shadow.

"Well, she is your great-granddaughter," pointed out Tails, sulking into the defense of his fluffy namesakes he thought would do the trick.

"And she is my granddaughter..." added Sonic, "She'd have the energy..."

"And she's my daughter, so her mind is probably far more sensitive to feeling..." concluded Silver, "For Iblis' sake, we've created the Ultimate Female... Cute, Sexual, and Powerful..."

Sonic's quills drooped, "Good Gaia! He's right! What have we done!?"

"Oh my... If it's any correlation, remember who she looks like?" theorized Tails, "Bedwyr, you know..."

"BY ARTHUR'S GRAVE, NIMUE!" shouted Bedwyr & Aquarion in horror.

"HEY I'M NOT DEAD!" retorted Sonic. He then curled into a ball and added sadly, "I might as well be though. My manhood is stripped!"

* * *

While the guys continued to wallow in self-pity, Cosmo slowly shook Tails' arm, "Tails dear, I don't feel so good..."

Tails' impulsively shrugged, "It's probably some nausea honey, it'll pass..."

"I don't think so! This hurts!"

Tails suddenly bolted up, "Cosmo baby, what's wrong?!"

"AH!"

Blaze gasped, "She's having contractions nimrod!"

"AH! Tails, I'm scared!" Cosmo whimpered as she held her belly, "This doesn't feel natural for a Seedrian!"

Aleena put a hand on her shoulder, "You're going to be fine sweetheart, just breathe." She turned to the men who were standing there like dazed idiots, "Don't just stand there! Dowey, teleport us to the hospital!"

Sonic and Shadow jumped and fumbled with the Chaos Emerald before Shadow gathered everyone around, "U-u-understood, CHAOS CONTROL!"

When they arrived in the reception area of the hospital, they waved down a doctor with Cosmo being whisked away in a wheelchair. Reality hit Tails as he grabbed Sonic and shook him, "I'm going to be dad Sonic! I'm going to be a dad!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**SonicFanaticInc.: Well what can I say other than me and Werehog20 beg forgiveness for the extreme lateness of this oneshot. Something else I can say is that we hope you enjoyed this slice of crazy. Also, yes, we know that when we were creating the setting for the story, we forgot to put in the 4th wall. X3 In any case, it was both a chore and a delight to type this oneshot for you. Even though we're way behind schedule now, we'll do our best to catch up. I hope you laughed like lunatics while reading this, because we sure did while typing it so either its really funny or me and Werehog have an odd sense of humor. Please read, review, and enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Werehog20: It's complete. After months of long waiting and hard work, it's done! Sorry for the lateness everybody; as I said before, the majority of the reason for the lateness falls upon me, but thank you to you guys for waiting. My gosh, about 17568 words for the story, not counting the author's notes... I hope the length of the story more than makes up for it without falling short of quality. Anyways, we will type the birth of Cosmo's & Tails' baby and their wedding in one story to make up for Valentine's Day & Easter, but I can't give any date, nor should I as with my luck we won't finish that until Summer Break! Again, hope you guys enjoyed, and I hope you guys check out SonicFanaticInc's and my page for our stories. Thank you and see you guys around!**


End file.
